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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26281282">real sweet (but i wish you were sober)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/phahbiyah/pseuds/phahbiyah'>phahbiyah</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Dates, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Everyone Is Gay, Flirting, Fluff, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, Karasuno Family, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Minor Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Partying, Slow Burn, So yeah, also minor spoilers for the manga but nothing plot wise, inspired by conan gray's wish you were sober, obviously, well it's hard to tell with this whole part but like. it follows the story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:54:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26281282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/phahbiyah/pseuds/phahbiyah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Asahi’s first kiss, but he can tell right away it’s probably going to be one of the worst he’ll ever have in terms of technique. It’s sloppy, Nishinoya’s tongue is everywhere it isn’t supposed to be, and the taste of alcohol is too much for his liking. It’s bad. He can’t blame either of them, really—it’s Asahi’s first time, and Nishinoya is drunk. A combination like that definitely equals bad.</p><p>But he doesn’t care, because holy crap, Nishinoya is kissing him.</p><p>-</p><p>In which Asahi, against his better judgement, goes to a party, overthinks, then proceeds to overthink some more.</p><p>Alternate name: “Asahi makes bad decisions that somehow lead to good consequences.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azumane Asahi &amp; Sawamura Daichi &amp; Sugawara Koushi, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nishinoya Yuu &amp; Tanaka Ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>149</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. this is definitely not my crowd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hellooooooooooooooo it seems i’ve risen from the dead! after nearly two years of not writing any fics, here’s my first one. hopefully you can see my improvement dsakjdklasjdlas</p><p>anyway, the fic is based off the song “wish you were sober” by conan gray, and all of the chapter titles (+ fic title of course) are lyrics! this idea has probably been used a million times buT here it is again for asanoya this time because asanoya is my favourite ship and it deserves more love okay :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Asahi is not a party person.</p><p>Asahi does indeed like many things; travelling, fashion, vests that Daichi claims are for old men but he likes anyway, and the tonkotsu ramen from the tiny shop down the street from his house with the gentle old lady who always gives him extra meat because he’s “such a sweet boy, Azumane-kun, aren’t you!”</p><p>But parties are not one of those things. He just can’t stand the idea of dozens of hormone-induced young adults crowding together in a single building grinding on each other or making out to extremely loud rap music, usually while drunk. Just the idea of <em> people </em> is part of it, too. Socializing? With people he doesn’t know? No, thank you. He would rather go back to that weird mullet hair thing he had going on in his first year of high school.</p><p>Most importantly, however. Something he <em>does</em> like is Nishinoya.</p><p>And that’s where his problem comes in.</p><p>Nishinoya; what started as a little crush in his second year of high school slowly morphed into something along the lines of “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE” throughout his first years of university. He’d never say that out loud, though.</p><p>Asahi thought it would fade away once they started going to different schools, but because the universe just <em> loves </em>to make him suffer, it only made it worse. It’s not even like they see each other that often. </p><p>So when Nishinoya calls him one night about a party, he, rare as it may be, actually considers it.</p><p>It’s 11pm when his phone, sitting on a table on the opposite side of his room, buzzes and plays a ringtone he hasn’t heard in a while. He kicks his feet off the wall to roll back on the chair, tucking in a loose strand of hair, and reaches toward the desk. The tight jeans feel itchy against his thighs.</p><p>He braces himself as he picks up the phone.</p><p>“...Noya?” he starts.</p><p>The voice on the other side is as excitable as he remembers. “Asahi-san!” He winces and slightly moves the speaker away from his ear. “Asahi-san, it’s been a while!”</p><p>“Yeah,” he says carefully, falling back on his freshly-made bed. He’s thankful he changed into his pyjamas (consisting of an old t-shirt and volleyball shorts) earlier. “It has.”</p><p>“Right? I miss you a lot!”</p><p>Something in Asahi’s heart blossoms, and every single feeling he’s ever had comes back to him like a slap to the face. Nishinoya wears his heart on his sleeve; he says what’s on his mind, and complete honesty is his policy, indeed. But that isn’t a bad thing. That might just be what Asahi likes about him.</p><p>“That’s actually why I called,” Nishinoya continues. “We’re having a party this Saturday at Ryuu’s place, and I wanted to invite you!” Asahi almost stops him right then and there, because, well, <em> duh</em>. But Nishinoya keeps going. “Now, I know you don’t like parties and all because you’re the biggest baby out there, but it’s a high school reunion! The Nekoma, Fukurodani, Seijoh graduates will all be there! A couple of other people too, but Ryuu’s in charge of the invites. In general.”</p><p>Asahi opens his mouth for a second, then closes it. Sure, he’s terrified of half the people mentioned, but at the same time, he would get to see Nishinoya again. Besides, he’s the one who invited Asahi—that must mean he wants him to come, right?</p><p>But they haven’t spoken in half a year. And that probably means <em> awkwardness</em>.</p><p>“Asahi-san?”</p><p>“Uh—yeah?”</p><p>“If it helps, we’re inviting the third-years, too!”</p><p>Asahi’s heart stops. “The third-years? Like… Muichi-san? And the others?”</p><p>“Who?” Nishinoya hums on the other side. “Either way, that’s not it, you big oaf. I mean Shouyou and Kageyama and Yamaguchi! And Yachi!” Then his voice lowers. “Tsukishima, too. But only because Ryuu wanted him there.” Asahi remembers Tanaka’s strange kinship with Tsukishima—if you could even call it that—from high school. Asahi laughs.</p><p>“That makes more sense,” he admits. </p><p>There’s a tapping sound—probably Nishinoya’s habit of drumming his finger against his phone. “Now you’ve <em> got </em> to come. You haven’t seen them in, what, months?”</p><p><em> I haven’t seen </em> <b> <em>you</em> </b> <em> in months</em>, Asahi wants to say. He doesn’t say that.</p><p>Instead, he just snorts. “That makes me want to come even less.”</p><p>“Come <em> onnnn, </em>” Nishinoya whines. “Please? For me?”</p><p>He glances at the clock as he internally debates the pros and cons. But it’s late, and he needs to get back to studying soon. Midterms are a shitshow and a half.</p><p>With a sigh, Asahi finally gives in.</p><p>“I’ll… think about it.”</p><p>“Hell yeah!” Nishinoya cheers on the other side. “Anyway, be sure to invite Daichi and Suga-san, too! I’ll see you guys on Saturday!”</p><p>“You know I said I’ll <em> think </em> about it, right?” he asks bemusedly.</p><p>There’s silence on the other end.</p><p>“I shrugged,” Nishinoya explains quickly. “I shrugged but you can’t see me so I’m telling you that I shrugged—<em>anyway</em>, you saying you’ll think about basically means you’re coming! Because I know you. So I’ve got you there!”</p><p>“Who knows? Maybe I’ve become an entirely different person since we’ve seen each other. Maybe now, me saying ‘I’ll think about it’ actually corresponds to a hard no.” The moment the words come out of his mouth, Asahi regrets them.</p><p>There’s an awkward laugh on the other side that tells him his gut feeling is right.</p><p><em> This is the first time you’ve spoken since last year and you’ve already messed it up. Wonderful. Just </em> <b> <em>peachy</em></b><em>, Azumane. You’re doing great. </em></p><p>“Anyway…” Nishinoya says to break the silence. “I have to get going now, but it was nice talking! Like I said, I’ll see you guys on Saturday.”</p><p>“Y—yeah. Thanks for letting me know about the party.”</p><p>“No problem! Bye, Asahi-san!”</p><p>“Bye, Noya.”</p><p>He lowers the phone from his ear and hovers his thumb over the end call button, something in the back of his mind telling him to keep talking to him. About what, he has no idea in the slightest. It’s his brain’s way of attempting to make up for lost time, he supposes. Maybe.</p><p>Asahi quickly realizes it’s been about ten seconds since either of them have said a word and rushes to click the button.</p><p>The moment the call ends with a <em> beep</em>, the door to his room slams open, and Asahi yelps.</p><p>“Suga!” he whines.</p><p>There are times Asahi loves having roommates—they’re great company, make the workload of chores a little more bearable, and are just fun to have around, especially when they’re close friends from high school.</p><p>This is not one of those times.</p><p>“I thought you were studying, Asahi,” Suga says as he walks in, an eyebrow raised. The rooster on his bright red sriracha sauce shirt catches Asahi’s eye, and he wonders just how he got it, considering half the words in the front are in English.</p><p>“I <em> was </em>studying!”</p><p>“Then why were you talking to Noya on the phone?” he points out</p><p>“I—” Asahi frowns. Curse these thin walls. He hopes Suga hadn’t heard their whole conversation. “I was studying before that. He called me just a couple of minutes ago.”</p><p>“So…”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Suga sighs and plops down on his chair. He rolls a bit before coming to a stop. “He <em> called </em> you, Azumane. Who calls people?”</p><p>“He—he calls everyone!” Asahi insists. “That’s his thing, you know? He never texts. If he wants to talk to someone, he just calls! When was the last time he texted you?”</p><p>“Last week.”</p><p>Asahi’s definitely feeling offended, though he isn’t sure if it’s because Suga’s right, or because Nishinoya actually talked to Suga recently. It’s probably both. But the latter hurts a little more, he’ll admit.</p><p>“Touché,” Asahi sighs.</p><p>There’s a moment of silence before Suga speaks again.</p><p>“What did he call you about? I know he hasn’t really… spoken to you recently.”</p><p>“A party,” Asahi answers, pretending the second part isn’t there. That’s a whole other conversation he doesn’t really want to have right now. “He and Tanaka are having a party this Saturday with the other volleyball clubs and he wants me to come. <em> Us </em> to come. He told me to invite you and Daichi, too.”</p><p>Suga hums thoughtfully.</p><p>“Daichi!” he calls out.</p><p>Their apartment is bigger than most, considering it’s shared between three people rather than the usual two (Asahi’s incredibly thankful for that), so Daichi has no trouble hearing Suga from the living room. That, or it’s their strange parent-lover telepathy thing they’ve got going on.</p><p>Either way, Daichi lets out a groan as he rolls off the couch and wobbles toward them. He looks like he’s about to fall over at any moment. But somehow, he makes it to the room.</p><p>“What is it,” he mumbles as he approaches, rubbing his eyes. “I was about to fall asleep.”</p><p>“You’re cute when you’re tired,” Suga teases, and Asahi braces himself for the extreme bout of third-wheeling he’s going to get. He loves that the two got together last year and is happy for them, really, but it’s a little questionable when they’re eating dinner and Suga’s hand is (not discreetly at all) on Daichi’s thigh. <em> Upper </em> thigh.</p><p>“...Shut up.”</p><p>“Oh? Make me then, Daichi.”</p><p>Asahi clears his throat.</p><p>“Party?” he asks pointedly as they turn to him.</p><p>“Ah, right.” Suga informs Daichi about the party, who furrows his eyebrows and stares at Asahi as he listens. He can feel the sweat beading on his forehead.</p><p>“Who are you and what have you done with the real Asahi?” Daichi frowns. “The man bun I know and don’t love would never go to a party.”</p><p>“That’s what I thought! But <em> Nishinoya </em> is there.”</p><p>“Oh.” Daichi blinks. “<em>Ohh</em>.”</p><p>“Don’t you <em> ohh </em> me!” Asahi shoots at him, but he can feel his face growing hot. “That doesn’t matter! Are you coming or not? Because if you two aren’t, I don’t want to, either.”</p><p>“Even if Nishinoya is there?” Daichi grins.</p><p>“Yes, because if you aren’t there, it’s going to be awkward and tense and not fun for me at all after Noya leaves to go talk to his other, cooler friends who are probably as drunk or more drunk than him and I’m going to end up making a horrible decision and getting drunk too, which will <em> definitely </em> lead me to do stupid things, so you guys better come so I don’t die!”</p><p>“Wow,” Daichi notes. “That wasn’t a proper sentence at all.”</p><p>“It’ll be awkward either way, considering the person you are, Asahi,” Suga laughs, then punches his shoulder. Asahi grunts. “Don’t worry, though. We’re coming. Right, Daichi? I’m free this Saturday. What about you?”</p><p>“I have an assignment due in the morning, but other than that, it should be fine. I’ll come.”</p><p>“So…” Suga’s eyes stare into Asahi’s soul. They’re probably sapping away his life energy. It feels that way, anyway.</p><p>Asahi doesn’t really want to go, but if Suga and Daichi are there, it should be fine. Even if they go somewhere else, he can always go find them when things undoubtedly go sour with Nishinoya. But that’s not taking into consideration that he might not even talk to Asahi in the first place—he’d probably say hi to him, maybe chat for a minute, then get up and leave to go make out with some pretty girl from his school.</p><p>The more Asahi thinks about it, the more he doesn’t want to go. But, against his better judgement, he decides on <em> yes</em>.</p><p>Because if there’s a chance he could rekindle his friendship with Nishinoya, he’ll gladly take it.</p><p>Asahi nods, hands pressed into his mattress. “Yeah. I’ll go.”</p><p>“Great!” Suga cheers. “The iconic Karasuno third-years are back in business! Oh, and Asahi too, I guess.”</p><p>“Ouch. That hurt more than the punch.”</p><p>“Anyway—” Daichi, still standing at the door, stretches out his arms— “if we’re done here, I’m heading off to the kitchen to make some coffee. You guys want any?”</p><p>“Weren’t you just asleep?” Asahi asks, an eyebrow raised. “Also, it’s 11:30 at night. Why are you drinking coffee?”</p><p>“Yes, I don’t care, and because I want to. Also because I have a paper due in a couple of days and I’m behind. Either way, your coffee privileges have been revoked. Suga, you get Asahi’s portion.”</p><p>“Nice!” Suga grins.</p><p>Asahi sighs.</p><p>“If you’re that upset over coffee,” Daichi says amusedly, “I’ll still make you some.”</p><p>“That’s not—that’s not it. It’s…” He waves his hand in front of his face. “It’s fine. I need to get back to work, anyway. Mind still making that coffee?”</p><p>“You got it, Man Bun-san.”</p><p>“Have fun studying!” Suga tells him as they leave the room, and shuts the door behind them.</p><p>Finally, Asahi falls back on the mattress again, staring fixedly at the string of fairy lights hanging on the wall above his bed. Though small, he quite likes his room—from the warm lights to the small array of plants lining his window, it all feels like home. Most of all, though, it’s because of the board of old photos and polaroids above his desk, some dating even before high school. He treasures each and every single one; there are a couple of his family, the Karasuno volleyball club, and, of course, Nishinoya.</p><p>Most of them happen to be with Nishinoya.</p><p>Asahi’s gaze falls to the contents on the desk itself: a laptop with the tabs still open, textbooks that, altogether, probably weigh as much as him, and a small stack of homework waiting to be finished.</p><p>He decides he doesn’t have the energy.</p><p>So there he is, laying in bed on a Wednesday night, overthinking as usual.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Plaid?” Asahi asks as he lifts the article of clothing in question, “or a turtleneck?”</p><p>After a week of stressing about the party (among other things), it’s finally Saturday, and Asahi has yet to pick an outfit: the most recent cause of his stress. The others are ready to go, a pack of beer sitting by the door, but he’s still standing in front of his closet.</p><p>Daichi rubs his temples. “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to wear anything fancy to a party? It’ll just end up being ruined with the smell of beer.”</p><p>“Plaid is <em> not </em>fancy.”</p><p>“It is for university students. Just wear an old sweater and call it a day.”</p><p>Daichi’s probably right, as always. It’s not like he’s being a hypocrite, either—his outfit consists of a sleeveless hoodie and sweatpants. It looks like something he’d wear to bed.</p><p>With a sigh, Asahi puts both articles back into his closet and picks out a pair of ripped black jeans; he won’t disgrace himself so horribly as to wear volleyball shorts in public. He hangs the jeans over his arm and goes back to digging, until he finds what <em> appears </em> to be a plain beige hoodie. When he pulls it out, he’s met with a small embroidery of a cat sticking up its middle finger. He doesn’t remember exactly how he got a sweater like that (he vaguely remembers someone thrifting it for him) but he shrugs and takes it anyway.</p><p>He’s not <em> satisfied </em>with his choice of clothes, per se, but he shoos Daichi out of his room so he can change, which he does in under a minute. Staring himself down in the mirror for a while, he eventually decides on a half-up bun, only tying up the top portion of his hair and leaving the rest falling just above his shoulders.</p><p>When Asahi emerges, Daichi gives him a once-over. He just nods. “Perfect.”</p><p>“I don’t feel like I should be going out.”</p><p>“Hey, Asahi,” Suga calls from the couch. He’s munching on a bag of chips, and Asahi wonders how he has the capacity for food when they’re about to drown in beer in less than an hour. “You know Tanaka’s address, right? I’ve completely forgotten it.”</p><p>He doesn’t blame Suga; it’s been ages since any of them have been to Tanaka’s house. He scrambles to dig his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll ask Noya quickly.”</p><p>Before either of them can say a word (he <em> knows </em> they’re going to say something), he opens his messages and scrolls down to find Nishinoya’s contact. He hesitates a moment before opening it; the last time they texted was in December of the previous year, when they wished each other a Merry Christmas.</p><p>Now, it was May.</p><p>There’s a bittersweet feeling as he types up his question, then hits send. Nishinoya’s reply comes in a matter of seconds.</p><p>
  <b>- Nishinoya Yuu -</b>
</p><p><b> <em>May 20</em> </b> <em> , 9:16 PM </em></p><p>
  <b>Nishinoya Yuu</b>
</p><p>asahi-san!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p>omg i</p><p>1289ujidaskhnasjmkdl;do,sp[.</p><p>...What</p><p>?</p><p>
  <b>Nishinoya Yuu</b>
</p><p>sorry that was rYuu he’s being a little bi</p><p>I’m… not going to ask what you mean by that</p><p>
  <b>Nishinoya Yuu</b>
</p><p>ehehehheheh ;)))</p><p>anyway the addreSs</p><p>uhhhhhHhHhHhhh i have. to ask actually</p><p>give me two!!! minutes!!!</p><p>Eventually, he gets Nishinoya to tell him (<em>it’s by the restaurant with the giant tomato ok!!!! u cant miss it!!!!!!! </em>), and Asahi informs the others before joining them on the couch. They’re taking up most of it, so he opts to sit on one of the swivel chairs by the kitchen’s peninsula. It’s definitely the best purchase he’s ever made, aside from the ugly Christmas sweater he got for Kiyoko last year for 400 yen. Somehow, she made it look <em> good</em>.</p><p>“It’s about a twenty minute drive from here,” Daichi says as he checks his phone, very <em> not </em>subtly cuddling with Suga under the blanket. “Probably thirty with traffic. Asahi, can you drive? I’ll bring us back.”</p><p>He nods. “Sure.”</p><p>“Alright. We’ll leave in fifteen. Don’t forget to bring the beer, and if you have to come back to use the bathroom, I <em> will </em> take the keys and drive to the party without you.”</p><p>Suga leans over to Asahi and whispers in his ear. “Even after graduating Karasuno, Daichi’s still bossy as ever.”</p><p>Asahi snickers.</p><p>Daichi grabs a flyer from the coffee table and reaches over Suga to smack Asahi’s arm. </p><p>“Suga was the one who called you bossy!” Asahi yelps as he shifts the chair out of Daichi’s reach. “Why are you targeting me? Get mad at him instead!”</p><p>“He gets boyfriend privileges.”</p><p>At that, Suga sticks out his tongue, and Asahi tries his hardest (and fails) not to roll his eyes.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Nearly an hour later (Suga had to go back and use the bathroom, but Daichi didn’t leave without him. Asahi isn’t surprised), they pull up to the Tanaka household, Asahi’s nerves spiking with every little bump in the road. It probably isn’t healthy. The driveway is full, so he finds a spot to park just a couple of houses down.</p><p>As they approach the house, Asahi remembers just how <em> big </em> it is. It isn’t a mansion by any means, but he realizes why parties and the like are always held here—it’s probably twice the size of his own home, with a giant backyard to boot. He’s a little jealous, frankly. His height always makes his house feel that much smaller, but if he remembers correctly, the rooms here are <em> huge</em>, with tons of open space.</p><p>He’s thankful for that, at least. Maybe that party won’t be absolutely unbearable, just extremely uncomfortable and awkward. Even from here, he can feel the heavy bass of the music over the speakers.</p><p>Before they can even step on the porch, the door swings open and out comes Tanaka, already red-faced with a chaotic grin on his face.</p><p>“Daichi-san! Suga-san!” He pauses when he makes eye contact with Asahi, then leans forward. “And Asahi-san! I didn’t know if you’d be coming! Ooh, Noya’s gonna be <em> so </em> happy when he sees you!”</p><p>Daichi and Suga exchange glances, and Asahi already wants to perish.</p><p>Tanaka lowers his head to allow Suga to pat it, who does exactly that. “My favourite kouhai! Thanks for inviting us!”</p><p>“We brought beer.” Daichi raises the pack.</p><p>“Oh, sweet!”</p><p>“Speaking of Noya, actually,” Asahi interrupts, though they definitely weren’t speaking of him, “is he here yet?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Tanaka frowns. “Wait, no. Yuu was here earlier but he went to get some extra cups and stuff because we’re actually low on them so he should be back in a bit! Maybe. I’m not sure. Everyone else is here, though! Even…” His expression morphs into a lovestruck smile. “The lovely Kiyoko-san.”</p><p>“Alright,” Daichi says, clearing his throat. “Should we head inside? It’s getting a little cold out here.”</p><p>“It’s the middle of spring,” Suga points out.</p><p>“<em>Play along</em>.”</p><p>“Right!” Tanaka says cheerfully, and takes the beer from Daichi. He holds the door open for them as they enter, and Asahi takes a deep breath before joining them. He’s the last one in.</p><p>The first thing Asahi notices is that, yes, the music is just as bad as he expected. He isn’t really one to judge people for what they listen to, but all he can think is that this is the most tasteless song he’s ever heard—it’s rap, and it’s in <em> English</em>. Still, he keeps his gripes to himself, despite the fact his eardrums feel like they’re about to burst, both from the volume and the song itself. He’s a guest here.</p><p>The second thing he notices is his surprise from the sheer number of people he recognizes. He knows Nishinoya said the majority of the people attending were from volleyball, but he… well, he isn’t sure what he was expecting. Fukurodani’s captain and setter, Nekoma’s libero, and even the power duo of Iwaizumi and Oikawa from Seijoh are just a couple of them.</p><p>That doesn’t mean he isn’t terrified.</p><p>Asahi snaps his attention back to Tanaka, whose voice is slightly raised to be heard over the music. “Anyway, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything! Enjoy the party!”</p><p>The trio quickly thanks him while they slip off their shoes.</p><p>As soon as Tanaka disappears into the thin crowd of people, Asahi turns to Daichi and Suga. “Please don’t leave me,” he begs. He can barely hear himself. “Everyone here is scary.”</p><p>“Stop being a coward!” Suga chides as Daichi rolls his eyes. “Go and socialize! Meet new people! Get drunk off your ass! It’s your first party, so go and have fun, big guy!” He pauses. “Don’t drink <em> too </em> much, though. You wouldn’t want to be a second-year throwing up over the balcony. Leave that to the first-years.”</p><p>Daichi snorts. “He’s speaking from experience.”</p><p>“I did <em> not </em> throw up over the balcony. I threw up in the bathroom! There’s a big difference, Daichi!”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”</p><p>“Anyway—” Suga waves his hand carelessly— “you need to be more social! Meet new people! Or new old people! Or… old new people?” He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Look, there’s Yacchan!” Raising his arm, he points to a patch of bright blonde hair by the staircase, shorter than most and just barely visible among the masses.</p><p>“Yachi?” Asahi frowns and squints to see. “Guys, I—”</p><p>But when he turns back around, the others are already gone.</p><p>Asahi is <em> definitely </em>going to kill them when they get back; there’s no doubt about it.</p><p>First, though, he has to survive the night.</p><p>He sighs and tucks some hair behind his ear before making a beeline toward the person in question. He squeezes through the crowd, accidentally bumping into someone, (people are <em> already </em> grinding on each other, he notices), until he reaches the stairs. It was just like Suga said; he does indeed find Yachi there.</p><p>“Yacchan?” he asks, his voice more timid than he meant it to be. There are two other guys he doesn’t recognize talking to her—she looks uncomfortable. </p><p>Her eyes are wide as she turns to him. “Azumane-san?”</p><p>“Who’s this?” one of the guys asks gruffly.</p><p>“Just an old friend,” Asahi says. “We knew each other back in high school.”</p><p>The guys exchange glances before the first one shakes his head and gestures for them to leave. One of them adjusts his hat, chains clinking as he walks away.</p><p>“Hopefully we’ll see you later, Hitoka-chan~!” </p><p>Yachi gives the most unpleasant smile Asahi’s ever seen, then turns to him. She lets out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Azumane-san. You really saved my hide. Those guys were hitting on me. You could probably tell, but it, um, wasn’t very enjoyable.”</p><p>Asahi grimaces.</p><p>“But, uh, I’m surprised to see you here!” she says. “I didn’t take you for the partying type.”</p><p>“Well… I’m not really. I just came because I heard it was a high school reunion." It isn’t technically a lie. He quickly glances around for any signs of the familiar blond tuft of hair; he doesn’t find it anywhere.</p><p>“Yeah, me too! I think Tanaka-san invited some other people, though…” Yachi just shakes her head and offers Asahi a small blue can. “Beer?”</p><p>“Thanks, but aren’t you underage?” he asks, and accepts the drink. He pops open the top, which fizzes as he sloshes it around and takes a small sip. The bitterness is light, but he can’t take much of it anyway. He isn’t a heavy drinker.</p><p>Yachi lets out a small laugh. “It’s not mine! I don’t drink. I actually confiscated it from Hinata a couple of minutes ago. He tried sneaking one, but he’s not very good at hiding it.”</p><p>“Oh, <em> no.</em>”</p><p>“Yeah,” she continues with a groan. “Both he and Kageyama-kun just got here and they’re already off the walls.”</p><p>“You’re stuck babysitting them?”</p><p>“Unfortunately.”</p><p>They laugh, and the music is just a little more bearable.</p><p>“Are Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san with you?” Yachi asks.</p><p>“Yeah,” he sighs, “but they ditched me as soon as we got here. Suga’s probably getting drunk right now while Daichi’s egging him on. For some reason, his parent instinct always turns off when he’s around him.” He shrugs. “Or maybe they’re just making out in one of the other rooms.”</p><p>“M—making out?”</p><p>Asahi nearly spits out his drink, but manages to keep it in. “Wait, you didn’t know?”</p><p>Yachi shakes her head.</p><p>“I’ll… tell you another time,” he decides. “It’s a long story.” Never mind the fact that <em> Asahi </em> is the reason they got together. But she doesn’t need to know that.</p><p>“Ah, okay.”</p><p>He clenches the can of beer in his hands as he tries to drown out the music. Nishinoya might be small, but with Asahi’s height and his spiky hair, Asahi should be able to find him easily. But when he scans the room for the umpteenth time in the past minute, he can’t. Maybe he’s still out, but Tanaka said he’d be back soon—he isn’t sure how much he should trust his drunken words, though.</p><p>Yet another reason why he dislikes parties.</p><p>Asahi’s just about to say something when the front door swings open, bells softly chiming, and a rambunctious voice he hasn’t heard in awhile rings out.</p><p>“I’m back!” Nishinoya yells. It’s barely audible over the music, but Asahi hears him perfectly. Both he and Yachi turn around to see Nishinoya bouncing on his feet, tossing the bag of groceries (would you count cups as groceries?) at Tanaka, who just barely catches it. Nishinoya frowns as he scans the room.</p><p>When he eventually makes eye contact with Asahi, his face lights up and he <em> bolts </em> toward him, right through the crowd. Asahi’s life flashes before his eyes for a brief moment, but Nishinoya doesn’t even slow down.</p><p>“Asahi-san!” Nishinoya tackles him with a hug, and Asahi lets out a grunt and stumbles back. “Asahi-san, you came!” He’s a bit surprised at first, but he wraps his arms tight around him. He’s as light as he remembers. </p><p>Asahi smiles, warmth in his cheeks. “Yeah. I did.”</p><p>“Nishinoya-san!” Yachi grins as they pull apart. “Or Nishinoya-<em>senpai </em>?”</p><p>Nishinoya waves his arm in front of him and looks away, a blush creeping onto his face. “Yacchan, come on! Not you, too! Shouyou already kills me.” Yachi laughs. It’s nice to see he hasn’t changed much, Asahi thinks.</p><p>Yachi’s phone suddenly buzzes, and she fishes out to read the message. “Oh!” she says. “Shimizu-senpai just texted me. She wants me to go and save her from some of the volleyball guys hitting on her.”</p><p>“Doesn’t she have Tanaka for that?” Asahi asks.</p><p>Nishinoya shrugs. “He’s too drunk.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“Anyway,” Yachi says, adjusting her purse on her shoulder, “I’ll be going. If I don’t see you again, it was nice meeting you guys! Asahi-san. Nishinoya-<em>senpai</em>.”</p><p>“Yacchan!”</p><p>“Bye!” she waves before heading off.</p><p>“She’s different,” Asahi says to Nishinoya. “She seems more confident.”</p><p>“You’re the same as ever, though,” Nishinoya teases, lightly elbowing his side. “If you weren’t staring straight at me when I walked in, I probably wouldn’t have noticed you. You’re giant, but you blend in too well!”</p><p>“Oh, haha.”</p><p>“I like the sweater, by the way. The middle finger is a nice touch.”</p><p>Asahi looks down.</p><p>“I’m not sure if it suits me, though…”</p><p>“Maybe not.” Then Nishinoya tilts his head. “Hey, wanna go to the basement? I know you probably don’t like loud music, and it’s quieter down there. I have to warn you, though, there might be some couples making out.”</p><p>“O—oh. That’s fine with me. But what about you? Don’t you want to stay up here and talk to people?”</p><p>“Nahhhhh.” His mouth is open, and for a second, Asahi thinks he’s about to say something else, but Nishinoya just stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Let’s go!”</p><p>“Okay. Um, thanks, Noya.”</p><p>He grins. “Anytime!” </p><p>Asahi has the urge to look away and cover his face, because he’s just a tad too bright.</p><p>Without warning, Nishinoya grabs onto his wrist and guides him toward the other side of the house. They pass Yachi and Shimizu, who give him a knowing look (he blames Suga for everything ever), before they reach the stairs. Nishinoya’s still holding his hand, and Asahi considers jumping out of the window. He doesn’t.</p><p>As they descend the stairs, the music slowly muffles, and the headache Asahi didn’t even know he had slightly fades. He can hear himself better down here, he realizes.</p><p>“Couch?” Nishinoya asks him.</p><p>Asahi nods, and they sit down on the white leather together. He subconsciously draws the kanji for person on his hand with his finger—a habit he’s developed from the many times he was in the starting lineup for volleyball.</p><p>He doesn’t realize he’s doing it until Nishinoya points it out.</p><p>“What are you all nervous for?” he asks, taking a swig of his own beer, which seems to have magically appeared in his hand. “It’s just me.”</p><p>Asahi immediately puts his hands to the side. “Yeah. Um—sorry. Accident.” He inhales softly. “It’s the party, I think.”</p><p>“If you didn’t want to come, you shouldn’t have, you know?”</p><p>“I did!” he says quickly. Is it just him, or does he see a bit of regret on Nishinoya’s face? “I did want to come, really. I don’t like parties very much, but I wanted to see you. Besides, Suga and Daichi would have pestered me until I said yes, anyway.”</p><p>Nishinoya laughs. “I’m glad you came, though.”</p><p>Asahi smiles. It’s a little forced as he desperately tries to think of a conversation starter, but each one seems to lead to a dead end. He can feel the tension slowly rising. He wants to spend time with Nishinoya, he really does, but this is what he was afraid of. Things aren’t like they were before.</p><p>“How are classes?” Asahi suddenly asks. He mentally face-palms. You never ask about classes. Who does that? Asahi, apparently.</p><p>“Come <em>on</em>, Asahi-san! It’s a party, and you’re asking about school?”</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>“Classes are okay, though,” he says. “Same as always. I’m still failing chemistry.” He lets out a small sigh. “I don’t know why I even took that course.”</p><p>“I can help you study, you know,” Asahi offers. “I have my notes from last year.”</p><p>“Really?!”</p><p>“Y—yeah, I’d love to! But only after midterms, because I have to study for those.”</p><p>“Deal!” He hums for a moment, then looks around suspiciously.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“It’s off-topic, but… er… I shouldn’t say.”</p><p>“What?” Asahi furrows his brows. “You can’t just <em> keep </em> it from me after saying that. That makes me want to know more.”</p><p>“Pushy, pushy!” he teases. “But okay. I figured it out about a week ago, but I haven’t told anyone yet. I’m waiting for him to tell me himself, but ahhhhh!” He shakes his fists. “I can’t hold it in anymore! Asahi-san, you’re going to be the first one I’m saying this to, so listen carefully! Okay?”</p><p>“I’m surprised you were even able to keep it in for that long. A <em> week </em> without telling anyone? Who are you and what have you done with the real Nishinoya?”</p><p>“It’s me, I promise!” he laughs.</p><p>Asahi scoots farther back onto the couch and lifts his legs to cross them. “Alright. But who’s this <em>him </em> you speak of?”</p><p>“RIght!” Nishinoya straightens. “This <em> him,</em> of course, is Ryuu! Last week, I was borrowing his phone to check something, and he got a text from Kiyoko-san! I didn’t mean to read it, but, well, I did—I swear it was an accident!—and she was asking about ‘their date’ or something.”</p><p>Asahi’s eyes widen. “Seriously? They’re dating?”</p><p>“I know! I wasn’t sure either, so I actually opened their messages—”</p><p>“<em> Noya </em>!”</p><p>“I had to,” Nishinoya says sheepishly. “Besides, I didn’t even read anything past the most recent conversation. I just had to check if they were actually dating or not. But it turns out they are! I’m happy for them!”</p><p>“Me too. I never thought I’d see the day,” Asahi jokes. “Tanaka didn’t make it obvious at all. He was still swooning over her like in high school when we saw him earlier.” He takes a rather long sip of his beer. “I’m not surprised he or Shimizu hasn’t mentioned it to us, but… he hasn’t told <em> you </em>?”</p><p>“Mmm… nah.”</p><p>“But you’re best friends!”</p><p>“Yeah, but there’s probably a reason. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.”</p><p>“I see,” Asahi nods. “You aren’t upset, though?”</p><p>“About Tanaka?”</p><p>“No, about...” Asahi’s stomach feels uneasy. “Well, Shimizu. You still like her, don’t you? You and Tanaka both.”</p><p>Nishinoya suddenly laughs, making Asahi jump, and smacks his hand on the couch. “Nope! Actually, I think that’s why Ryuu didn’t tell me. Maybe he still thinks I like her. But when I say I’m happy for them, I mean it! There’s someone else I like, actually.”</p><p>Asahi freezes. Nishinoya leans toward him, and his heart is pounding in his chest so loud it hurts his head.</p><p><em> There’s someone else I like</em>.</p><p>“Oh, really?” Asahi swallows. “Who is it?”</p><p>Nishinoya opens his mouth, but before he can speak—</p><p>“Yuu!”</p><p>They turn around to find Tanaka running toward them. He nearly trips on the carpet but somehow stays upright, despite being even <em> more </em> tipsy than before. “Yuu!” he says again. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”</p><p>Then he sees Asahi, and there’s a sly smile on his face. “I see you’ve been cuddling up with Asahi-san~”</p><p>“What do you want, Ryuu?” Nishinoya snaps, his face slightly pink.</p><p>“Aw, don’t be so angryyyyy! They’re starting a game of Truth or Dare upstairs and we want you to join in!”</p><p>“Er…”</p><p>“There are a bunch of cute girls playing, too!”</p><p>Nishinoya practically leaps off the couch. “Cute girls, you say?” he grins, and Asahi’s heart sinks. Whatever hope he was feeling before is now completely gone, instead the word <em> girls </em> playing in his mind over and over again.</p><p>But, as if he can read Asahi’s mind, Nishinoya’s shoulders suddenly drop, and he turns to Asahi. His expression is full of concern.</p><p>“Don’t let me keep you, Noya,” Asahi says before he can speak, trying to make his voice sound cheerful. He isn’t sure if it’s working. “We can always talk later.”</p><p>“You could play with us.”</p><p>He shakes his head. “I’m not a party person, remember?”</p><p>Nishinoya reluctantly turns back to Tanaka. “...Okay. See you later, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“See you.”</p><p>He waves goodbye as the pair walk off, Tanaka’s arm slung over Nishinoya’s shoulder. And so Asahi is left sitting alone on the couch, too big to take up one space, but too small for two.</p><p>He isn’t sure exactly how long he’s sitting there, passing the time on his phone and also by overthinking, occasionally sipping his beer. There are a couple of questionable noises from the adjacent room, but he pointedly ignores them. Like Nishinoya said, the music here is significantly quieter than it is upstairs; only the heavy bass can be heard. Even that can be drowned out easily. That leaves him alone with nothing but his thoughts, however, and that’s where things become deadly.</p><p>Most of them are about Nishinoya, of course. More specifically, Nishinoya about seven or eight months ago.</p><p>It was strange. It started when, one day, Nishinoya just didn’t respond to his texts. His calls. His messages. For the first few days, he didn’t think anything of it. Maybe he lost or broke his phone, or was just really busy. Asahi sent a couple of messages asking if he was okay, but other than that, he paid it no mind. </p><p>After the fourth day, Nishinoya finally answered—all he said was ‘sorry. was busy’. Asahi didn’t press him.</p><p>But from there, he responded to Asahi less and less; taking a couple of hours on a good day, and a week on the worst occasion. </p><p>Eventually, he stopped responding altogether.</p><p>There was no big fight, no big argument that led to both of them refusing to speak to each other. It was silent, like ocean waves crashing against the cliffside and slowly eroding the rock.</p><p>Later, Asahi brought it up to Suga, and he told him Nishinoya got a girlfriend.</p><p>When he found out they broke up a month later, he was relieved. But Asahi didn’t dare message him. Neither of them spoke to each other for the rest of the year, save for a quick <em> Merry Christmas </em> and a call on Asahi’s birthday.</p><p>That is, until last Wednesday.</p><p>He still doesn’t know why Nishinoya invited him in the first place. He must know about how <em> awkward </em> things are between them—even he isn’t that dense.</p><p>So… he just thinks.</p><p>At one point, Asahi is so zoned out that, when he comes to, he realizes he’s been refreshing the same page of the same app for the past five minutes.</p><p>He seriously considers leaping out of the window.</p><p>It’s around 1am when Asahi decides he’s had enough. He’s not enjoying the party at all, and he’s going to change that, either by finding a way to enjoy it, or going home. He stands up, tossing what’s now his second can of beer in the trash, and stretches his arms. His legs are numb; probably because he’s barely moved in the past two hours.</p><p>He figures the game of Truth or Dare might be over by now, so he trudges up the stairs, a little imbalanced, and looks for Nishinoya.</p><p>It isn’t hard to find him. Even amidst the music (which seems even louder now), Nishinoya’s voice is easy to hear. He’s in the living room on the couch, the top of his head just barely visible behind all the people. It’s a funny scene, he’ll admit.</p><p>But he can’t get through, so Asahi steels his nerves and calls out. “Hey, Noy—”</p><p>Then the crowd shuffles around so that Nishinoya comes into view, and the words immediately die in his mouth.</p><p>There’s someone underneath Nishinoya—a girl he doesn’t recognize. She’s tall but thin, her long brown hair splayed over the armrest. Nishinoya is on top of her, hands on either side of her head, and mouth pressed against hers.</p><p>He’s making out with her.</p><p>
  <em> He’s making out with her. </em>
</p><p>Suddenly, the lights are too bright for his eyes and there’s a sinking feeling in his chest and his stomach and everywhere that just keeps going and going and <em> going</em>. His hands feel colder than normal, and <em> god </em> he needs to get out right now. Yeah. Yeah, he just needs some air. </p><p>It’s okay.</p><p>Clutching his stomach, he makes his way to the front of the house, forced to push some people out of his way. <em> They’re drunk </em> , he tells himself. <b> <em>He’s </em> </b> <em> drunk</em>.</p><p>Somehow, he’s feeling rather calm about the whole ordeal. At least, not as bad as he’d normally think. Maybe it’s because he knows that they’re buzzed from the alcohol. There’s a chance the kiss between Nishinoya and that girl means nothing.</p><p>Or maybe it’s because he’s already accepted that his feelings will never be returned.</p><p>He finally gets out of the house and is immediately hit with a burst of fresh air that almost rejuvenates him, if he didn’t just see his high school crush making out with another girl. He’ll admit, though, not having the smell of beer constantly overpowering his noise helps clear his head.</p><p>He finds an empty wall along the walkway and leans against it.</p><p><em> Deep breaths, Azumane. Hyperventilating will get you nowhere</em>.</p><p>“Asahi-san...?”</p><p>Asahi jumps at the sound, and oh <em> god</em>, why now?</p><p>Nishinoya wobbles around for a little before coming up beside him. “What’re ye—what’re ya doin’ out here, Asahi-sannnnnn~? Aren’t ya cold?” He giggles, and Asahi wants to die right then and there. He’s never seen Nishinoya drunk before. He isn’t sure if he wants to see him drunk ever again.</p><p>“Noya,” Asahi manages to say. His throat is dry.</p><p>“Asahi-sannnnn~”</p><p>“You say that a lot, don’t you?”</p><p>“It’s because I like your name!” he giggles again. “Asa<em>hi </em> -san. A<em>sa</em>hi-san? Asahi-<em>san </em>…”</p><p>“Hey, now,” Asahi laughs awkwardly. “That’s enough.”</p><p>Before he can react, Nishinoya leans toward him and runs a hand through his hair. Asahi freezes. “Your hair is really long,” Nishinoya slurs, his eyes half-lidded. His voice drops to a whisper. “It’s pretty.”</p><p>There are about a million and a half thoughts swirling around Asahi’s mind at the moment and <em> being straight </em>is absolutely not one of them.</p><p>Asahi swallows. “Thank you, Noya.”</p><p>“Your face is red.”</p><p>“I’m extremely aware.”</p><p>“Are ya drunk, too?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Oh!”</p><p>Then he laughs and moves away. Asahi feels like he can breathe again.</p><p>“What are you doing out here?” Asahi asks carefully.</p><p>“I came to find ya!”</p><p>“What? Weren’t you just, um…” He looks at Nishinoya nervously, then sighs. “Weren’t you just making out with someone? You shouldn’t leave her, you know.”</p><p>He blows a raspberry. “There’s no need to be jealous, Asahi-san! That was just Saki-chan! It was a—a dare! I think, um, she likes...” He leans in to whisper in Asahi’s ear, but it isn’t quiet in the slightest. Asahi’s sure the entire neighbourhood can hear their conversation. “<em>Girls</em>. I like girls, too!” Another giggle.</p><p>Asahi isn’t sure whether to be relieved or not.</p><p>He scratches the back of his head. “Did you… need me for anything?”</p><p>“Uh…?”</p><p>“You, um, said you were looking for me.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah! I want ya…” Nishinoya’s expression turns serious for a moment, and Asahi can’t tell what he’s thinking.  He’s suddenly close to him again; Asahi tries to move back, but he only hits the wall. Nishinoya’s eyebrows are furrowed, and a pout on his face. “I want you to drive me home, Asahi-san!”</p><p>“<em> What </em>?”</p><p>He seems to do a one-eighty. “Ryuu was supposed to drive me,” he mumbles, almost sulking. “But he forgot and got drunk. It’s not fair! Can’t ya—can’t ya drive me home, Asahi-san? Pleeeease?”</p><p>“Um… I… ”</p><p>“<em>Asahi-san</em>~”</p><p>Asahi’s certain his face is red now as he swallows thickly. This is a bad idea. God, this is a <em> horrible </em> idea. He can’t be near Nishinoya in general, and especially not when he’s drunk. He should be saying no. He should be telling Nishinoya to head back inside and to get someone else to drive him. Or—he and Tanaka are close, right? He could always advise him to stay for the night. That way, there’s no chance of anything happening. It’s a foolproof plan. It’s—</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Why did he say that? Why on <em> Earth </em>did he say that?</p><p>“Asahi-san!” Nishinoya practically bawls, and leaps into Asahi’s arms.</p><p>Right. That’s why.</p><p>“Do you want to go right now?” he manages to croak out.</p><p>Nishinoya nods fervently.</p><p>Well, okay.</p><p>Asahi wriggles out of Nishinoya’s grasp (who whines a little as he does) and brings out his phone. “Just let me text Daichi and Suga.” He sends their group chat a message and waits a few seconds for their answer, but when neither of them does, he figures they’re busy. Possibly for a number of reasons.</p><p>“We’re good to go,” he says, and Nishinoya cheers. He raises his arms, laughing drunkenly, and falls into Asahi’s arms again. Asahi grunts as he catches him and slings an arm around his own shoulder to help him walk.</p><p><em> This is a bad idea</em>, he thinks as they cross the road. <em> It’s not too late. You can still turn around. </em></p><p>He doesn’t.</p><p>They make it to the car with minimal injuries (Nishinoya is <em> not </em> making this easy for him). Swinging the passenger door open, he struggles to put Nishinoya’s near-limp body into the seat as gently as he can (“Asahi-sannnnnn, are you leaving me?) before making his way to the other side.</p><p>Asahi makes himself comfortable in the driver’s seat, then shoves the key in and starts the engine.</p><p>“Asahi-san, you’re back!” Nishinoya drapes himself over the center console, his arms reaching over Asahi’s thighs “I missed you~!”</p><p>Asahi looks down at Nishinoya. He looks strangely calm despite being drunk and red-faced, and that warm feeling in his chest returns. His spiky hair is now slightly drooping. Slowly, Asahi lowers his hand from the wheel and rests it on Nishinoya’s head.</p><p>“...I’ve missed you, too,” he murmurs. “Noya.”</p><p>“You’re really pretty, ya know? Wait, no… like, uh—beautiful! Yeah. You’re beautiful, Asahi-san. LIke… an angel. I like your hair. You’re so pretty, Asahi-san!”</p><p>Asahi lets out a small breath. “Do you even know what you’re saying?”</p><p>“Mayyyyybe.”</p><p>“You’re really pretty, too.”</p><p>Nishinoya suddenly moves off Asahi and back into his own seat, and for a second Asahi thinks he might have said something wrong. But Nishinoya leans in again, just inches away from his face. His eyes stare into his own, and Asahi feels a little self-conscious.</p><p>“You think I’m pretty?” Nishinoya asks, his voice breathy.</p><p>“I think you’re gorgeous.”</p><p>Then, before Asahi can think, Nishinoya’s lips are pressed against his own.</p><p>This is Asahi’s first kiss, but he can tell right away it’s probably going to be one of the worst he’ll ever have in terms of <em> technique</em>. It’s sloppy, Nishinoya’s tongue is everywhere it isn’t supposed to be, and the taste of alcohol is too much for his liking. It’s bad. He can’t blame either of them, really—it’s Asahi’s first time, and Nishinoya is drunk. A combination like that definitely equals bad.</p><p>But he doesn’t care because holy <em> crap</em>, Nishinoya is <em> kissing him</em>.</p><p>Just as quick as it started, it ends with Nishinoya pulling away from him, smacking his mouth as he does so. The air feels cold against his face, and Asahi almost wants to pull him right back in and kiss him again. </p><p>“That was nice, Asahi-san,” Nishinoya giggles. “Good night.”</p><p>Then he promptly passes out against the window.</p><p>Asahi can hardly believe his eyes at the scene that’s just unfolded before him, but he manages to sit back upright in the seat. He’s in a daze, though he isn’t certain if it’s from the alcohol or the kiss.</p><p>That’s a lie. He absolutely knows what it is.</p><p>Then he slams his head against the wheel, his forehead pressing into the handle, and sighs the biggest sigh he’s ever sighed in his life. The world seems to spin underneath him.</p><p>Asahi really regrets going to this stupid party.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you find noya’s texting annoying just know that i text with that but with x10 more Capital Letters and sUcH, unnecessarily long ellipses……… and also commas,,,,,,,,, plus keyboard smashes, r a ndo m  s p a c i n g, and kaomojis/emoticons!! o(≧∇≦o) :)</p><p>anyhow, this is probably going to be one of the longer chapters? maybe the longest; it's about 8k, and the rest will probably be somewhere around 5k each. i think. either way, i expect the fic to be about 25k words according to my notes (4 pages! i can't believe i'm acc making notes for once), so i hope y'all look forward to that!</p><p>i also have tumblr! i'm not active too often but feel free to shoot me a message or something <a href="https://tenacious-scripturient.tumblr.com/">@tenacious-scripturient</a> &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. save me 'til the party is over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i lied, this chapter is 9k words</p><p>anyway prepare for fluff, it's a lot nicer than the previous anxiety-inducing chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Asahi has a lot of time to think in the car.</p><p>He doesn’t think <em> too </em> much, of course, since he’s driving and he doesn’t want to get distracted, especially since he had a couple of beers and he is <em> not </em> going to get him and Nishinoya into an accident because of his stupid overthinking, but… </p><p>He thinks anyway. About some things. Namely, the kiss.</p><p>Things like, why did Nishinoya kiss him? Did someone dare him to, just like that Saki girl he mentioned before, or was it of his own accord? Was the alcohol affecting him so much that he thought it was a good idea for him to kiss Asahi. Did he think Asahi was someone else? Does Nishinoya even like guys in the first place? Is it normal that Asahi wants to kiss him again?</p><p>While Asahi’s brain is attacking itself, Nishinoya is still asleep in the passenger seat. Lucky for him, Asahi supposes. He probably won’t remember this in the morning. Though, he isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for him.</p><p>Maybe he’ll let fate decide whether he confronts this or not.</p><p>Asahi’s almost relieved when they finally pull up to Nishinoya’s house—the lack of streetlights on the adjacent road makes it all the more unnerving.</p><p>Just as Asahi is parking on the side of the road, Nishinoya shuffles around and mumbles, words too murmured for Asahi to understand.</p><p>“Noya?” Asahi asks. “Are you awake?”</p><p>In response, he yawns and stretches his arms, though his eyes are still closed. “<em>Mmm</em>.”</p><p>Asahi laughs softly before getting out of the car. On the other side, he opens the door, propping it open with his leg, and leans forward to grab Nishinoya by the waist. He hoists him out of the car, grunting as he does so, and holds him up with one arm. He’s careful not to hit Nishinoya’s head on the roof. It’s happened before; he ended up with a bruise on his forehead for the rest of the week.</p><p>“Asahi-sam?” Nishinoya mumbles, his head currently buried in the crook of Asahi’s neck as he closes the door behind them. “‘M home now… You don’t need to drive me anymore.”</p><p>“...Nishinoya Yuu. Who do you think was the one who brought you home?”</p><p>“Saeko-neesan?”</p><p>Asahi bites his lip and smiles. “You got it, Noya.”</p><p>“But where is she…?” he mumbles. “And how come you’re here, Asahi-san?”</p><p>“I wanted to say hi to you.”</p><p>“Ohhhhhhh. Hi, Asahi-san!”</p><p>“Hi, Noya,” Asahi laughs. “Now, let’s get you inside. Be careful. We’re crossing the road.”</p><p>They quickly cross the road (Nishinoya tries to leap ahead but nearly topples over—it’s a good thing Asahi is there to catch him, otherwise he’d have cracked his head on the pavement) and reach the front door of his house. It’s nice, he thinks. Small, and perhaps a little old, but not shabby by any means. There’s a bed of flowers lining the stone porch, fresh and vibrant as if someone takes care of them on a daily basis. They don’t look fake.</p><p>What Asahi means to say is, the Nishinoya household feels homey.</p><p>“Do you have your keys?’ Asahi asks as they stop in front of the door. There are no lights on. He wonders if anyone is home. Then again, it’s a quarter past 1, so even if there are people they’re probably asleep.</p><p>Nishinoya doesn’t answer, only wriggling out of Asahi’s grasp to bend down.</p><p>Unfortunately, he falls over.</p><p>“Whoa,” Asahi soothes as he catches him. “What do you need? I can get it.” Nishinoya points to the near-invisible rug by their feet. “The key is there?”</p><p>“Mm-hmm…”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>Asahi lifts the mat, and just as Nishinoya said, the key is there. He swipes it and opens the door before putting the key back again. They enter together.</p><p>The first thing he notices is that it’s warm—warmer than his own apartment, at least. He already feels hot in his hoodie, but he doesn’t even think about taking it off. There’s nothing underneath. </p><p>The second thing he notices is that it’s dark.</p><p>Asahi feels around to find a light switch, then turns it on. The entryway illuminates.</p><p>“Pardon the intrusion,” Asahi says softly, at the same time Nishinoya yells: “I’m home!”</p><p>They exchange glances, then laugh.</p><p>“I can be as loud as I want, Asahi-san!” Nishinoya says, slowly increasing his volume. He slips off his shoes. Asahi keeps his on. “I’m home alone!”</p><p>“Your family is away?”</p><p>“Yeeeeeep!”</p><p>“I’m not sure the neighbours would appreciate you screaming in the middle of the night, though.”</p><p>“But I…” Nishinoya frowns, and his shoulders droop. “But I’m home alone.”</p><p>“Technically,” Asahi interjects, “I’m here, too.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah! Hi, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Hi, Noya.” He takes a breath, then closes his eyes. “I should be heading home soon. Do you need anything before I go?”</p><p>“Before you go…?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“D—don’t go, Asahi-san,” Nishinoya pouts. When Asahi opens his eyes, he’s looking down at Nishinoya’s giant eyes and red face, and Asahi almost imagines a puppy. “I miss you.”</p><p>“Daichi and Suga are still at the party, Noya. I have to get them.”</p><p>“No!” he yells, and latches onto his arm. Asahi takes a step back. “Stay here, pleeeeease? I want you to—I <em> need </em>you to stay, Asahi-san.”</p><p>Asahi feels like he’s about to implode. He reminds himself to never let himself near a drunk Nishinoya ever again.</p><p>But god, he’s considering it.</p><p>The first problem is Daichi and Suga. Since Asahi’s taken the car, they wouldn’t be able to drive home, even if Daichi <em> is </em> sober. But, then again, he could always just tell them to get a ride home from someone else. There are a couple of people at the party that live near them, so it isn’t a huge deal.</p><p>The second problem is a little more… personal.</p><p>But Nishinoya’s expression is just so genuine and vulnerable that he can’t help but consider it. He feels his sanity being drained away slowly with every passing second.</p><p>“...Okay,” Asahi finally submits. He slips off his shoes and locks the door behind him. “I’ll stay for tonight.”</p><p>“Hurray!” Nishinoya cheers, trying to jump but barely getting his feet off the floor. He takes Asahi’s hand (it feels like it’s on fire) and guides him for two steps until they reach the living room.</p><p>“You’re not going to your room?” Asahi asks. “Aren’t you tired?”</p><p>“Nope! Let’s watch TV!”</p><p>Still wobbly, Nishinoya makes his way around the coffee table and to the sofa, where he flops on it face-down; his head is resting on the armrest. Even with his legs curled to his chest, he’s taking up most of the space, so Asahi squeezes himself into the corner at his feet.</p><p>There’s a remote on the table. Asahi grabs it and flicks on the television before setting it to a random news channel.</p><p>He looks over at Nishinoya, whose face is now away from the couch and turned to the screen. It’s strange, Asahi thinks, how quickly he can go from excited to calm to sad to elated. Maybe a little funny. How Nishinoya can keep so many emotions in him when he’s just barely above five feet tall is beyond him, but he shouldn’t be one to talk, really. He’s well over six feet and his only emotions are <em> scared </em> and <em> overthink</em>.</p><p>Asahi sighs and finds his phone to text Daichi and Suga. He opens their group chat and types. <em> Took the car. You guys have to find your own way home. Sorry &lt;3. </em></p><p>Then he powers off his phone and sets it on the table.</p><p>When he raises his head to look at Nishinoya again, he finds him asleep.</p><p>“What happening to watching TV?” Asahi murmurs with a smile. Nishinoya lets out a soft snore in response.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Asahi gets up to grab a pillow from the pile on the other sofa; it seems like Nishinoya’s been sleeping in the living room recently. He kneels down beside Nishinoya and gently lifts his head before sliding the pillow underneath. Nishinoya groans and shifts for a moment, but it’s over quickly, and Asahi stands up. There’s a blanket in the other pile, as well; he reaches over and flaps it open, then spreads it out over Nishinoya’s tiny body.</p><p>As Asahi finds another set and settles on the last couch, Nishinoya looks content.</p><p><em> This is weirdly domestic</em>, he thinks. <em> Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking that, but it sure feels that way.</em></p><p>The light in the foyer is still on, but Asahi doesn’t mind—it’s not too bright, and he’s always preferred to have a little bit of light as he sleeps. The gentle roar of a passing vehicle outside makes for nice background noise, and Asahi can feel his eyelids getting heavier.</p><p>And so, he drifts off peacefully, the smell of Nishinoya even warmer than the actual blanket.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Asahi wakes up with a light headache, ten unread messages, and three missed calls.</p><p>With a groan, he props himself onto his arm and pushes the blanket off of him. It’s a quarter past nine, and the sunlight filtering through the window is still too bright for his liking. Why is there so much sun? The drapes in his bedroom are always closed.</p><p>Then he remembers exactly where he is.</p><p>His eyes burst open, and he scans the room. Nishinoya is still asleep, thankfully, in the same position as when Asahi tucked him in (it’s not like he expects Nishinoya to be up by nine, but still).</p><p>“What the hell,” he says aloud. He wasn’t even <em> drunk </em> last night, and he made a decision like this. Asahi worries what he’s like when he <em> is </em> drunk.</p><p>His attention snaps back to his phone. Right. Messages, calls. He unlocks his phone and checks out the texts first—of course, they’re all from Suga.</p><p>
  <b> - Azumane Asahi protection (and attacking) squad -</b>
</p><p><b> <em>May 24</em> </b> <em> , 1:43 AM </em></p><p>
  <b>mother #2</b>
</p><p>AShi</p><p>Asshi ocme bakc</p><p>M dorry</p><p>Isit becuase we ditches yuo at theparty</p><p>I;m sOyryyyyy</p><p>I lvoe you</p><p><b> <em>mother #2</em> </b> <em> changed the group name to </em> <b> <em>I lovw yiu Ashai</em> </b></p><p><b> <em>mother #2</em> </b> <em> changed the group name to </em> <b> <em>i LOVW YOU aSASHI</em> </b></p><p>
  <b>mother #2</b>
</p><p>iwll buyignyou luchcn make it upt o you</p><p>‘(</p><p> </p><p>Chuckling, Asahi screenshots the one-sided conversation; there’s no way he’s letting Suga delete all the messages and pretend it didn’t happen. He’s getting that lunch, dang it.</p><p>And next…</p><p>All three of the missed calls are from Daichi.</p><p>Okay.</p><p>Asahi looks for the bathroom and spots it in the tiny hallway connecting the kitchen and living room. Quietly as he can, he gets up and heads in. Nishinoya’s a heavy sleeper (he knows from experience), but the last thing he wants to do is wake him up.</p><p>Once inside, he shuts the door behind him and dials Daichi back.</p><p>He answers after the first ring.</p><p>“Azumane.” Daichi’s voice is low and calm, but Asahi’s already preparing himself for the worst.</p><p>“H—hi, Daichi.”</p><p>“Where are you?”</p><p>“Um…”</p><p>“Come on. You can tell me.”</p><p>Asahi sighs. “I’m at Noya’s place.”</p><p>There’s silence on the other end, and Asahi’s nerves just grow.</p><p>“I can’t believe you actually did it,” Daichi says in disbelief. “And here I thought it wouldn’t happen for at least another year because you’re too chicken to do anything. I guess I owe Suga money, then…” He grumbles.</p><p>“W—wait!” Asahi interrupts. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“Oh, well, Suga and I made a bet…”</p><p>“No, no, not that! Did what? What did Noya and I do?”</p><p>“You… fucked,” Daichi says carefully. “Right? Or at least got together? Why else would you be staying over at his place when his family isn’t home?”</p><p>“You <em> knew </em>?”</p><p>“Tanaka told me.” He groans. “Okay, but never mind that. Are you telling me you <em> didn’t </em> get together?”</p><p>“Well… no.”</p><p>“Not even a kiss?”</p><p>“It’s, um… complicated.”</p><p>Daichi pauses for a moment, then lets out a breath. “Okay. I’m sure Suga wants to hear this ‘complicated’ story, too, so you can tell us when you get back. Man, and here I was willing to forgive you for taking the car…”</p><p>“You guys ditched me at the party!”</p><p>“Oh. That’s true.”</p><p>“Is that it?” Asahi says amusedly. “<em>That’s true </em>?”</p><p>“Anyway,” Daichi says, fully ignoring him, “when are you coming back?”</p><p>“Uh… soon.”</p><p>“Soon?”</p><p>“Maybe a couple of hours. I might stay until Noya wakes up.”</p><p>“Alright. See you then, Asahi. Don’t skip out on any of the juicy details!”</p><p>“I won’t,” Asahi laughs. “Bye, Daichi.”</p><p>The call ends with a click.</p><p>After washing his face and digging through the cabinet to find a spare toothbrush so he can brush his teeth, Asahi steps outside. He feels a little nosy, but there’s nothing he can really do about it. Just as he expected, Nishinoya’s still fast asleep, though now he’s knocked the pillow onto the floor. Asahi picks it up and places it back onto the other sofa.</p><p>He flops down onto the other couch, wondering exactly what he should tell Daichi and Suga. He can’t leave out the kiss, of course. But does he really need to include <em> everything </em>? The fact that Nishinoya was making out with someone before? All that touching? Asahi’s heart rate?</p><p>He isn’t really sure if he wants to talk about it at all.</p><p>Because, to him, last night doesn’t have to be real. He doesn’t have to be taunted by a drunken kiss; a glimpse of what Asahi might have in another life. It’s already painful enough, but having that just makes it ten times worse. After all, Asahi is the only one who remembers it. Nishinoya sure as hell doesn’t (he hopes) and he could always just make up a lie to tell Daichi and Suga.</p><p>Because even if he can never be with Nishinoya, he’s plenty happy just <em> being </em> with him. Being friends.</p><p>But if Asahi stays, he’ll have to confront Nishinoya. That’s the very last thing he wants to do at the moment. Maybe if he talks to Daichi and Suga, he can get his bearings straight (hah) before he talks to anyone else.</p><p>Maybe he should leave now.</p><p>He gives Nishinoya one final glance.</p><p>Yeah. He’ll leave now.</p><p>There are a couple of things Asahi should do first, though. He goes to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, a pen, a notepad, and an aspirin. It takes some time, but he eventually finds everything and heads back to Nishinoya. He leaves everything on the coffee table, then uncaps the pen.</p><p><em> Thanks for inviting me over last night,</em> he writes on the notepad. <em> I owe you one. ~ Asahi-san.</em></p><p>He frowns.</p><p><em> ~ Asahi-san &lt;3,</em> he adds.</p><p>Only barely satisfied, Asahi makes his way to the door and exits without a sound, the warmth of the house leaving him as he walks to his car.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>In the end, he decides he’ll tell them everything.</p><p>He texts them on the way there, and when he reaches the door, it’s already swinging open to reveal a very rare excited Daichi.</p><p>“I knew you told me you were coming back soon,” he says, “but not this soon. Did Noya wake up already? Or did you leave before he could?”</p><p>Asahi drags his feet as he enters the apartment. “Well hello to you, too, Daichi.”</p><p>“So you left.” He snorts. “You had your chance, but you didn’t take it.”</p><p>“It’s—”</p><p>“Complicated? Yeah, you said.”</p><p>Asahi sighs.</p><p>The smell of food fills his nose. He hasn’t eaten anything since last night. He looks over to the kitchen, where something is cooking on the stove.</p><p>“Breakfast,” Daichi explains amusedly. “I was in the middle of making it when you texted us. Either way, you look exhausted. Do you want some?”</p><p>Asahi’s mouth waters. “Yes, please. Two eggs. <em> Furikake.</em> Thank you.”</p><p>Daichi whacks him on the head gently, and Asahi yelps. “I’m not a maid, you know!”</p><p>“Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”</p><p>“Is that Asahi?” Suga’s tired voice calls from his room. “Hold—ah—on a minute, I’m coming out. I’m coming. Don’t spill anything without me!”</p><p>“Spill…?” Asahi frowns, tilting his head.</p><p>“Don’t mind.” Daichi sighs, then turns around to head back to the kitchen. “Anyway, you’re lucky I was making rice already. I’ll be done soon.”</p><p>Asahi smiles and thanks him as he first heads to his own room to change; his clothes may be comfortable, but they don’t smell very good. He should probably shower later, too. But that’s later.</p><p>He comes out with a fresh set of pyjamas (it’s a Sunday morning, okay?) to find the parents themselves sitting at the table, food ready. Their table is small but comfortable; it’s by the window, and he can see the row of cars already filling up the narrow lane. It’s a nice constant, he thinks, even as everything around him is always changing.</p><p>“Morning, Asahi,” Suga says, waving to him,</p><p>“Morning, Suga!”</p><p>Asahi joins Daichi and Suga on the other side of the table and clasps his hands together.</p><p>“Thank you for the food!” all of them say, and begin eating.</p><p>“First of all,” Asahi says immediately before any of them can interrupt, “I just want to say that Suga still owes me lunch.”</p><p>Suga blinks, the ends of his chopsticks hovering in front of his face. “What?”</p><p>“Check the group chat.”</p><p>Daichi lets out a sudden bark of laughter. “Oh, that! Damn, Suga, you’re way too nice when you’re drunk.”</p><p>Taking his first bite, Asahi watches Suga as he unlocks his phone and scrolls through the messages. His face morphs from confusion to realization to horror.</p><p>“<em>I </em>wrote this?” he says in disbelief.</p><p>“Who else?” Daichi chuckles and ruffles Suga’s hair, who’s still staring at his phone. “Asahi’s in a pissy mood because we ditched him.”</p><p>“Am not!”</p><p>Suga groans. “God, I’m changing the name back to what it was before.”</p><p>“Why?” Asahi teases. “I like it.”</p><p>“Well I don’t!”</p><p>“It’s fine. I have it saved.”</p><p>Suga glares at him. “You’re despicable.” Then his eyes widen. “Wait, I know! You’re just trying to put all the attention to me so you don’t have to tell us what happened last night! Well, it’s not working. I can see right through you!”</p><p>“Wha—that’s not—”</p><p>“He’s right,” Daichi realizes. “I can’t believe you’d do that. You’re horrible, Asahi.”</p><p>“Disgusting!”</p><p>“Cowardly.”</p><p>“Horrible!”</p><p>“I already said that, Suga.”</p><p>“Despicable!” Suga tries again.</p><p>“<em>You </em> already said that.”</p><p>“Stop insulting me!” Asahi snaps. He takes a bite of his food and, through purposefully obnoxious chewing, asks: “Do you want to hear what happened or not?”</p><p>Daichi just looks disgusted.</p><p>“Tell us!” Suga chants. “Tell us, tell us! Tell us tell us tells us t—”</p><p>“I <em> get </em> it,” Asahi sighs. “Okay. Honestly, I feel like you guys are overhyping this but if you’re okay with being disappointed by how uneventful it was, that’s fine by me.” He clicks his chopsticks a little in his hand; another habit from his ever-growing nervousness. “You guys remember last year, right?”</p><p>Daichi hums. “Nishinoya started drifting from you until you eventually stopped talking, then found out he had a girlfriend.”</p><p>“How could we forget?” Suga smiles, though a little sadly. “You cried for a week.”</p><p>“Y—yeah.” Asahi scratches the back of his head. “Basically, after you left me and I talked to Yacchan, Noya came in. He was really happy to see me, actually—he just <em> ran </em> toward me and hugged me. I was surprised.”</p><p>Suga raises an eyebrow. “I guess he wasn’t the only one that missed the other.”</p><p>“Yeah. I—I guess,” Asahi nods. “So we talked for a bit, then we went downstairs because he was worried the music was too loud for me and we talked more. And then, um, Tanaka came? He was drunk and wanted to get Noya to play Truth or Dare upstairs. He left, and I sat by myself for a bit. By a bit I mean two hours. What were you two doing during that time, anyway?”</p><p>Suga and Daichi exchange glances. “Um…” Suga averts his gaze and sips his water.</p><p>“Nevermind. I… don’t want to know.” Asahi shakes his head. “So this was around 1am when I decided to go and find Noya, since, you know, I figured the game was over. I found him on the couch, but, um…” Asahi swallows. “I saw him making out with a girl.”</p><p>Daichi winces. “Oh. That’s rough, man.”</p><p>“It’s fine! He actually told me later that it was just a dare. And that the girl was probably lesbian.”</p><p>Suga spits out his water. “Well. Isn’t that a turn of events.”</p><p>“Yeah. Also,” Daichi frowns. “<em>Later </em>?”</p><p>“Mhm.” Asahi shifts. “I went outside, but he followed me out, and we talked a little. It was, um, awkward. Then he asked me to drive him home, and I…” He lets his head fall on the table. “I drove him home.”</p><p>Suga crosses his arms. “So that’s why you were at Noya’s place.”</p><p>“But so far it doesn’t seem that complicated, like you told me,” Daichi says. “Either you made out with and/or fucked him, or you didn’t.”</p><p>“It <em> is </em>complicated, though!” Asahi insists. “He was drunk. When he got into the car, we may have, um, been flirting a little bit. That’s when he kissed me. And then he passed out right away.”</p><p>“Typical Nishinoya,” Suga sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead.</p><p>“Right?”</p><p>Daichi furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t see the problem, Asahi. He kissed you. So he likes you. And now you should be dating—or at least when you talk about it.”</p><p>“That’s the <em> problem</em>,” Asahi groans. “He doesn’t remember it! He woke up again when we were walking to his house and he didn’t mention it at all! And, I reiterate, he was <em> drunk</em>. Drunk people make out with random people all the time!”</p><p>“Do drunk people make out with people they don’t like?”</p><p>“Maybe! I don’t know. Maybe it was a dare! Maybe he mistook me for someone else. Who knows?”</p><p>“Just talk to him,” Suga says. “If you ask him about it, he can give you a proper answer.”</p><p>“Easy for you to say.” Asahi puts his head in his hands. He despises confrontation. It’s the thing he hates the most, just behind his first-year high school hair and brooms. “I can’t do this. It feels like we’re finally going to become friends again, and I’m not going to risk losing him a second time just because of some stupid drunken kiss!”</p><p>He pushes his plate aside. There’s still a little left, but his appetite is suddenly gone; he’ll finish it later.</p><p>Suga reaches out to Asahi’s hand and taps it gently. He looks up. “I don’t think Nishinoya would leave just because of that. It might be a little awkward at first, but it’s nothing you guys can’t handle.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“Last year? I know there’s a reason for that, Asahi. You just haven’t spoken to him yet. I believe in him, and you should, too. Besides, there’s a big chance he likes you back, you know?”</p><p>Asahi tries to look at Suga, but his eyes can only drift to the window. He watches as the cars speed by in a blur of colours on the road outside, some way over the limit, and some way under. It’s a strange sense of comfort for him.</p><p>But this is way outside his comfort zone.</p><p>“Suga’s right,” Daichi agrees. “Even if it’s hard to talk to him about it, you should. I think easing into it is a good idea. Don’t outright say it, but hint at it. Something like, ‘do you remember what happened last night?’”</p><p>Suga nods. “Good advice, good advice.”</p><p>Asahi lets out a small breath. “Thanks, guys. I… I think I needed that. I’ll try and talk to him. It might take some time, but I’ll eventually do it.”</p><p>“Alright. But if not, you owe me lunch.”</p><p>Asahi whips his head to Suga. “W—what? But you owe me lunch!”</p><p>“Not if you owe me lunch first.”</p><p>“But that doesn’t make sense! Because if we owe each other lunch, it just cancels out, and the only way I would <em> still </em> owe you lunch is if you made this bet worth two lunch instead of one!”</p><p>Suga shrugs. “Two lunches it is, then.”</p><p>“That’s not what I meant!”</p><p>Daichi grabs his plate and stands up, the legs of the chair squeaking against the hardwood floor. “If you’re done, I have a group meeting for a project at the library in a bit. I have to get ready.”</p><p>“A group project on a Sunday morning?” Asahi frowns.</p><p>“Let’s just say we’re pressed for time.”</p><p>“Ooh. My condolences.”</p><p>Sighing, Daichi walks over to the sink and dumps the dishes in. “Yeah. By the way, Suga. Don’t you have an assignment due at noon?”</p><p>“Whatttttt,” Suga laughs awkwardly, waving his hand. “Who, uh, told you that? I don’t have an assignment I haven’t started due in three hours, no siree.”</p><p>Asahi stares at him. “You went to a party last night when you had an assignment you didn’t start due the next day? Aren’t you still hungover? Are you even <em> okay </em>to do work?”</p><p>“Probably not. Daichi, give me coffee.”</p><p>“Nope!” he calls from the sink. He opens the tap and begins running the dishes under the spray of water. “The caffeine will just make your nausea worse. Drink water. God knows you need it.”</p><p>“Rude!”</p><p>He raises an eyebrow. “I made you breakfast and am washing your dishes.”</p><p>“Right, right! Thank you very much, Daichi.”</p><p>Asahi laughs, then pushes away from the table. “Anyway, good luck, Suga. You too, Daichi. I’m probably going to go to study now, too. Midterms are starting this week and I’m behind.”</p><p>“Okay,” Suga waves. “See you!”</p><p>Daichi grunts noncommittally, but before Asahi can head inside his room, he calls out. “Oh, Asahi. There’s something I want to say first.”</p><p>Asahi’s hand is on the doorknob. “...Yeah?”</p><p>“Go shower. You might have changed clothes, but it’s probably still in your hair, so make sure you wash it. You smell like booze and vomit. And morning breath. And Nishinoya’s deodorant, which isn’t inherently a bad thing but it’s kind of weird and—”</p><p>“I get it, <em> dad</em>,” Asahi grumbles, not even bothering to look back as he enters his room and shuts the door behind him.</p><p>Suga just laughs.</p><p>Asahi gets a call at 1:12pm.</p><p>He’s expecting Daichi, so he doesn’t glance at it when he picks it up, too busy scrolling through the incredibly tedious and long article on his laptop. Holding it up to his ear, he straightens his back.</p><p>“Hello?” he speaks into the phone.</p><p>“Hi, Asahi-san!”</p><p><em> Oh, </em> <b> <em>no</em></b>.</p><p>“Oh, Noya!” Asahi’s throat is dry, but he makes his voice as cheerful as he can. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m just, er, recovering from my hangover. But I’m fine. Are you busy?”</p><p>Asahi glances at his laptop screen.</p><p>“Not especially. Why?”</p><p>“Ah, nothing important,” Nishinoya says. He lets out a small huff. “I just wanted to thank you for last night. You drove me home, right? And stayed over?”</p><p>“Y—yeah. It’s no big deal.”</p><p>“Thank you, Asahi-san. I mean it. We haven’t spoken in a while and you still did this for me.”</p><p>“Seriously, it’s fine,” Asahi laughs awkwardly. “I’m glad I could help. Besides, I thought you might be mad at me…”</p><p>“Mad?”</p><p>“Yeah. From when I left early today. Sorry about that.”</p><p>“You mean… you’re sorry for going home after you drove me back, stayed the night, tucked me in, and left water, aspirin, <em> and </em> a note? Which also, by the way, is dumb because you don’t owe me anything.” Nishinoya sighs, almost laughing. “Seriously, Asahi-san. Why would I be mad? I should be the one apologizing to you for making you do all that.”</p><p>“No, no! I was glad to.” He fidgets in his seat. “But I guess you’re right.”</p><p>“Ain’t that the truth!”</p><p>Asahi smiles.</p><p>Nishinoya clears his throat. “By the way…” he starts softly.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Did anything else happen last night?”</p><p>Asahi’s posture goes rigid as he sits up straight, the impact of the words hitting him like a truck. His mind is going a mile a minute; does this mean Nishinoya remembers what happened? But no, he’s asking <em> if </em> something happened—he doesn’t remember. Or at least, he doesn’t remember everything.</p><p>“W—what do you mean?” Asahi manages to spit out.</p><p>“I, uh, don’t remember much. So hopefully nothing… bad happened, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Bad? Uh, nope, not that I remember.” He laughs a little too loud. “Nothing at all!” God, he’s a bad liar. He’s a horrible liar, even. Nishinoya’s going to see through this. He’s going to see right through him and—</p><p>“Oh, good.”</p><p>He lets out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Anyway,” Asahi says, his voice much more calm, “is that all, Noya?”</p><p>“Er, actually—last night was really fun. I wanted to ask if you, um, wanted to hang out again sometime.”</p><p>“You want to… hang out?”</p><p>Asahi takes it back. His voice isn’t calm in the slightest anymore. He’s panicking.</p><p>“Yeah! Like shopping or coffee or something. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It’s okay if you don’t want to, though.”</p><p>“No, no. Of course I want to, Noya!”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Nishinoya’s voice is timid, and Asahi is almost taken aback. He’s rarely ever shy, and much less for something simple like <em> asking someone to hang out</em>. “Don’t let me force you into a situation you don’t want to be in.”</p><p>Asahi lets out a small laugh. “Believe me, that’s not going to happen.”</p><p>“Well, okay!” Nishinoya says. “So, what do you want to do? There’s this boba place about halfway between us that I like a lot. There are also a lot of restaurants and shops there if you’re in the mood to walk around. We could go there if you want.”</p><p><em> About halfway, </em> he thinks. <em> Did he look for a place like that on purpose? Did he already have a plan before he called me? </em></p><p>Then Asahi inhales and shakes his head. He’s just overanalyzing things again. Of course he’d take the ‘where’ into consideration. They live far from each other, after all, and it doesn’t take that much effort to open up a map and check where things are. Nishinoya’s just doing what he would for anyone.</p><p>“That sounds great!” Asahi smiles instead, and it’s genuine. “When are you free?”</p><p>“This week I’m pretty busy, but I can go after my 1pm class tomorrow.”</p><p>“Monday?” Asahi hums. “I might have to spend a bit of time working on stuff, but I should be done by the time your class finishes, too.” He thinks for a moment. “Can we meet up around five? Maybe we can grab dinner, too.”</p><p>“‘Course!”</p><p>“Send me the address later?”</p><p>“Will do!”</p><p>Asahi stretches his arms. “Alright, then. I’ve got to go. I lied about not having any work,” he says sheepishly.</p><p>“Hey, aren’t I supposed to be the delinquent here?”</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Asahi admits. “You’re not intimidating enough. I think you’d have to grow a couple of inches first before people actually start thinking you’re a delinquent.”</p><p>“<em>Hey </em>!”</p><p>Asahi laughs.</p><p>“Well, then,” Nishinoya says, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“See you, Noya!”</p><p>The call ends with a click, and not a minute later, Asahi gets a message containing a pinned location. He smiles, saves it, and changes the name from <em> Nishinoya Yuu </em> to <em> delinquent.</em></p><p>Maybe, just maybe, things are going back to the way they were before.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Asahi hates to admit it, but he can’t focus that day.</p><p>Too much of his brain is occupied by Nishinoya and their hang out later that day—some thoughts are good, some bad. By bad, he means enough to make him want to call Nishinoya and cancel their plans because he’s too terrified of something happening again and oh <em> god </em> he’s going to mess up and things are going to go back to how they were again.</p><p>He almost feels like he’s back in high school—pining over the younger boy and overthinking every single possible thing that might happen between them.</p><p>Maybe he still <em> is </em> in high school. Mentally, at least.</p><p>Daichi yells at him at least twice to stop spacing out and focus on whatever he’s doing at the moment (“What, are you so entranced by your breakfast you can’t talk to me? I’m the one who made it, you know.”), but Asahi isn’t sure it works. The moment he’s alone in his room, it starts all over again.</p><p>And no, he is <em> not </em> jerking off with Nishinoya in mind.</p><p>He would feel too guilty.</p><p>Asahi hasn’t told Daichi or Suga, either—at least that he’s hanging out with Nishinoya for the first time in eight or so months. They just know he’s heading out for dinner. (They’ve probably already figured it out. He’s surprised they aren’t pestering him like they usually would.) Still, it’s not like they need to know. He’ll just tell them about it afterward. Maybe.</p><p>By the time 2pm rolls around, he hasn’t completed much at all. He still has to start one paper and finish another. But honestly, he doesn’t care. He’ll just make up for lost time later in the day; there’s no way he’s sacrificing time with Nishinoya.</p><p><em> Maybe I should ask him to hang out earlier</em>, Asahi wonders.</p><p>He’s sure he won’t be able to get anything done the way he is, anyway. Besides, more time with Nishinoya wouldn’t hurt.</p><p>He pulls out his phone to text the delinquent in question. It’s unlikely he’ll answer, considering he’s in class, but he doesn’t want to forget.</p><p>
  <b> - delinquent -</b>
</p><p><b> <em>May 25</em> </b> <em> , 2:02 PM </em></p><p>Hey, Noya!</p><p>Sorry, but do you think we could meet up earlier today? Like around four or something</p><p>I finished my work early and I’m bored lol</p><p>
  <b>delinquent</b>
</p><p>‘course asahi-san!!!!!!!!</p><p>Aren’t you in class?</p><p>
  <b>delinquent</b>
</p><p>shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</p><p>this never happened</p><p>also the lecture is boring as fuCk</p><p>You should still pay attention!!</p><p>
  <b>delinquent</b>
</p><p>jaskhdkashdjlkask don’t wAnNa</p><p>besides im the <a href="https://emojis.wiki/sparkles/"> ✨ </a> delinquent <a href="https://emojis.wiki/sparkles/"> ✨ </a></p><p>so hah</p><p>:/</p><p>
  <b>delinquent</b>
</p><p>,,,,,,,,,,,,,fine</p><p>just for u, asahi-san, i’ll listen</p><p>You’re too kind, Noya :)</p><p>
  <b>delinquent</b>
</p><p>right??????</p><p>anyway i’ll see u at 4</p><p>don’t be late!! :000</p><p>Wouldn’t dream of it</p><p>See you!</p><p>
  <b>delinquent</b>
</p><p>see u asahi-san!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Asahi sets his phone down and stretches before falling on his bed and into the muted rays of sunlight against it. It’s warm—a nice change of pace, considering the past few days have been uncharacteristically cold for the middle of spring. His room always has been the warmest in the apartment, but he doesn’t mind. Despite what someone might think because of his stature, he’s actually quite cold, according to Daichi and Suga. </p><p>He glances at his laptop again—something akin to a last-minute ditch attempt to try and convince himself to continue studying, though he’s almost certain it won’t work.</p><p>He gets up and closes the computer.</p><p>When his alarm to start getting ready goes off at 3pm, Asahi picks himself up to freshen up in the bathroom. He takes his time inside, going through different hairstyles as he tries to choose one.</p><p>After, he opens his closet to dig through his many clothes (his family always complained that he’s too much of a fashion freak, but Asahi begs to differ), and he feels a strange sense of déjà vu. Just a couple of days ago, he was in the same position, looking for the right—<em>right</em>, quote unquote—outfit to wear to the party. Too much has changed in too little time.</p><p>Asahi sighs. Eventually, he figures out what to wear (flannel or turtleneck? he keeps asking himself) and looks in the mirror. He would say he looks good; the past couple of years studying fashion haven’t been for nothing, thankfully.</p><p>His outfit is a little fancier this time, but not <em> too </em>fancy; it’s just hanging out, after all. He’s wearing a black button up with silver roses embroidered around the fabric and (also) black jeans, as well as a thin belt and a couple of bracelets on his left hand to top it off. </p><p>Daichi is, once again, lounging on the couch when Asahi exits his room. He waves to him as he passes.</p><p>“Off to dinner?” Daichi asks without glancing up from his laptop.</p><p>“Mhm,” Asahi says, filling up a glass of water and downing it. “Tell Suga there’s yesterday’s leftovers in the fridge. So you don’t burn the whole building down trying to cook.”</p><p>Daichi clicks on his keyboard. “Sure, sure. Tell me how your date goes. Guy, right? Or girl, I suppose I can forgive you for that, too.”</p><p>“I—what?”</p><p>“See you, Asahi!”</p><p>“Um.” Asahi his wallet and keys from on top of the counter before heading to the front to get ready. “Bye?”</p><p>“Oh, and don’t come back until after dinner.”</p><p>Asahi furrows his eyebrows in confusion as he slips on his shoes, then stops when it hits him.</p><p>He cringes.</p><p>“Heh,” Daichi says. “Later.”</p><p>When Asahi finally makes it out of the apartment (with minimal casualties), he brings out his phone and checks the time. It’s nearing 3:30—according to his <em> Maps </em> app, it should take him about fifteen minutes to get to his destination. 3:45, that means.</p><p>It’s also fifteen minutes from four, the designated meeting time. But it’s just fifteen minutes; it isn’t like fifteen minutes is that much time to wait, anyway. He has his phone. And his brain. His overthinking brain.</p><p>Asahi shrugs, then shoves his phone in his pocket.</p><p>Either way, it wouldn’t hurt to be early.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Just as Asahi nears the boba shop known as <em> Mr. Moon </em> (it’s a rather dark store, he’ll admit; he definitely didn’t expect Nishinoya to want to go to someplace like this) he sees a bus pull up farther down the block. He squints as he watches the passengers get off, until he spots a blond tuft of hair among the masses.</p><p>Asahi checks his phone as he slowly walks over. He’s still early.</p><p>“Asahi-san!” Nishinoya yells when he spots him, then jogs over. “Asahi-san, you’re early!”</p><p>“Hello, Noya,” Asahi grins.</p><p>“Hi, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“You’re early, too.”</p><p>“Maybe I just wanted to see you,” Nishinoya says, and it’s a little forward, even for his standards. Asahi is almost taken aback, but he doesn’t move.</p><p>Instead, he smiles and opens his arms. “I wanted to see you, too.”</p><p>Nishinoya looks him up and down for a moment, then practically <em> jumps </em> into him as he wraps his arms tight around Asahi. He even lifts himself off the ground, but Asahi has no trouble carrying the tinier boy. As Asahi lays his head into the nook of Nishinoya’s shoulder, he sees that he’s wearing a simple outfit; a jean jacket, grey hoodie, and black sweats. Asahi feels a little overdressed, but oh well. That’s the price of fashion.</p><p>As they let each other go, Asahi feels surprisingly calm. He’s not panicking like he thought he would, nor is he overthinking.</p><p>He shouldn’t be surprised, though—even in high school, there was always something calming about Nishinoya’s presence, despite how rambunctious he is. It’s a soothing constant, letting him know that, even if things may change, some will always stay the same.</p><p>“You look really good, you know?” Nishinoya interrupts his train of thought.</p><p>What a way to shock him back into reality.</p><p>Asahi’s face flushes as he clasps his hands together behind his back. “You’re too straightforward, Noya. But thank you.”</p><p>He shrugs. “Hey, I’m just saying what I think.”</p><p>“Well, I think you look really good, too.”</p><p>“Not as good as you.” Nishinoya rolls his eyes and lightly elbows Asahi’s side, then begins trekking along the sidewalk before he has a chance to reply. Nishinoya puts his hands behind his head in a nonchalant way, but Asahi can see the slight redness in his ears indicating the flush. Asahi smiles to himself. Nishinoya’s always been bad at receiving compliments.</p><p>Asahi catches up just as they arrive in front of the shop.</p><p>“How was class?” he asks, just so the conversation doesn’t kill itself.</p><p> Nishinoya holds the door open, quiet chimes ringing as it swings, and Asahi heads in. “It was okay.” Nishinoya follows behind him, and they see the short lineup of just three people in the quaintly-decorated store. Just as Asahi expected, it’s dark. But it’s cute. He quite likes it so far.</p><p>“I’m still failing,” Nishinoya continues with a small snort, “but it’s fine. So is half the class, I think,” he jokes.</p><p>“You know, that tutoring thing I offered before still stands.”</p><p>“Would you really?”</p><p>“Would I offer to do something I didn’t want to?”</p><p>Nishinoya hums. “Well… there was that one time Shouyou asked if you could help him with his spiking after practice, and you agreed to do it even though you had a lot of work to do because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but after that you complained to me for the next two days about how your entire body was sore because you couldn’t keep up with him.”</p><p>“Wait, no!” Asahi waves his hands back and forth in front of Nishinoya’s face, but he just laughs, oblivious to Asahi’s embarrassment. The person at the register seems to be done ordering, and the line moves up. “You aren’t allowed to use that. That’s not fair, Noya! It was <em> one </em>time, and I felt bad!”</p><p>“And there was that <em> other </em> time—”</p><p>“I get it,” Asahi sighs as he recalls the memory. Nishinoya had said two days, but it was closer to three, really. “I’m too soft.”</p><p>“I like that you’re soft.”</p><p>“...I feel like that’s an insult. Is that an insult?”</p><p>Nishinoya mutters something too quiet for Asahi to hear.</p><p>“What?” he asks.</p><p>“Oh, nothing.” Then Nishinoya points to the screen above displaying the menu. “Hey, what do you want to get?”</p><p>Asahi stares at it, almost overwhelmed by the sheer amount of options there are. There are milk teas, juices, slushes, lattes, about a million kinds of teas, milk tea lattes… it’s a lot. It’s not like Asahi has boba often, so he’s at a loss for what to choose.</p><p>“Um…” Asahi says intelligently.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Nishinoya laughs. “I think you’d like that one. Passion Fruit Green Tea. I’ve heard it’s good. And you seem like a green tea kind of guy. Or whatever tea. Am I right, Asahi-san?”</p><p>“O—oh, yeah. I don’t like milk tea that much.”</p><p>He nods. “That’s good to know.”</p><p>“Good to know?”</p><p>“Don’t worry about that!” Nishinoya bounces on the balls of his feet as he looks over to the cash register, which is now empty. “Hey, it’s our turn to order. Move up, big guy!”</p><p>“Um—okay.”</p><p>When they finish ordering and getting their drinks, they choose the spot by the window. Asahi’s eyes are finally getting used to the dimness, but some natural sunlight wouldn’t hurt. The scenery is nice, too, which is a plus.</p><p>“So,” Nishinoya says as they sit down, nearly slamming his unopened bubble tea on the table. He opens the straw and impales the black-coloured plastic in one go. It takes Asahi about five tries, and by the time he manages, the pointed end of the straw is bent. “I’ve been thinking about something.”</p><p>Asahi, previously bringing the drink to his mouth, freezes.</p><p>“Something…?” he inquires carefully.</p><p>“Yep,” Nishinoya nods wisely, “and I wanted to ask you about it. It’s important.”</p><p>“Important?”</p><p>“Incredibly.”</p><p>“Um… okay. Shoot me.”</p><p>Knowing Nishinoya, it’s a joke. It’s most definitely a joke, right? Asahi’s definitely <em> not </em> sweating buckets right now because he’s not being serious whatsoever and it’s just going to end up being something funny. For sure.</p><p>“So,” Nishinoya starts, “you live with Daichi and Suga, right? And they’re dating? Oh, that’s not the actual question by the way.”</p><p>Asahi exhales. It <em> was </em> a joke.</p><p>“Yeah,” Asahi nods. “They got together last year. And I was the wingman.”</p><p>“You? The wingman?”</p><p>“I <em> had </em> to do something, Noya! It was so obvious, but they just wouldn’t tell each other!” Asahi sighs as he remembers the many months they spent going back and forth between <em> friends </em> and <em> about to date</em>. "It was horrendous. But it’s kind of funny, too,” he hums, “because I’ve never dated before.”</p><p>Nishinoya raises an eyebrow. “You’ve never had a girlfriend?”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re surprised.”</p><p>“That’s hard to believe, Asahi-san,” he says nonchalantly. “We’re in uni and you’re super tall and really attractive!”</p><p>Asahi takes an extra long sip from his drink as he swallows. Did Nishinoya just call him attractive? He thinks Asahi’s attractive? Well, Nishinoya’s blunt about things. He’s never been one to shy away from giving genuine compliments, which Asahi can appreciate. He can never compliment someone unless it’s in return.</p><p>Asahi realizes he’s been silent for at least ten seconds, and puts down his drink. “Thank you,” he says quickly. “But, um, yeah. I’ve never dated anyone. Anyway, what was your question?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah!” Nishinoya taps his finger against the wooden table. “This is going to sound really weird but do you know how often Daichi and Suga, you know… do the dirty?”</p><p>Asahi nearly spits out his drink. “Why do you want to know <em> that </em>?”</p><p>“Ryuu and I made a bet, okay! It’s a long story, but basically, we were talking about sex life and it went to Daichi and Suga and I thought Suga would have a lot but Daichi wouldn’t have much, but Tanaka thought the opposite! So he told me to ask you today and I was like, ‘sure’, so here I am now.”</p><p>“How did you even…” Asahi sighs and presses his fingers to his temples. “Never mind. I’m not going to ask.”</p><p>“So? What’s the verdict?”</p><p>“I, um, don’t actually know.“ Asahi feels his face going red, and god, why is it doing that? He’s in university. Not high school. Not middle school. University. This is a thing people talk about. Sometimes. Maybe. “I’m pretty sure they only go at it when I’m out. But I don’t think they do it every time.”</p><p>“I’d be pretty impressed if they did.”</p><p>“If it helps, Daichi, uh… he told me not to come back until after dinner.”</p><p>“...What?”</p><p>Asahi tilts his head slightly. “Because of, well, that.”</p><p>“<em>Oh,</em>” Nishinoya blinks. “I am. So sorry, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Tell me about it.”</p><p>Nishinoya shakes his head and huffs. “Okay, but can we go back to the part where you said you haven’t dated anyone before?”</p><p>“W—why do you want to talk about that?” Asahi crosses his arms. “It’s not interesting.”</p><p>“I’m sure your love life is plenty interesting, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>Nishinoya rolls his eyes. “Fine. How about your crushes or whatever? I told you I have one. So what about you?”</p><p>“Um.” Asahi sweats. “Just a couple. One big one, though.”</p><p>“Really? Tell me!”</p><p>“Only if you tell me yours.”</p><p>Nishinoya looks offended. “What? No way! You’re horrible, Asahi-san.”</p><p>Asahi feels his stomach churn, but he laughs anyway. “What’s the big deal? I doubt I even know her.” A part of him is wishing Nishinoya doesn’t tell him, though—he’s perfectly happy staying in this world where there’s a chance he could like him back, even if it’s unrealistic.</p><p>“Mmmmm… maybe another time.”</p><p>“I’m holding you to that, then,” Asahi teases. “I want to know who this mystery girl is.”</p><p>And so the conversation continues like this for a while—how long exactly, Asahi isn’t sure. They talk about a lot of things, ranging from serious to the most light-hearted jokes, and this is the first in a long time Asahi has laughed so hard his cheeks hurt. To say university has been stressful is an understatement, but this is a nice change of pace.</p><p>Despite everything, it’s really nice.</p><p>Before Asahi knows it, the afternoon stretches into evening, and they leave the boba shop to get dinner at a fast food restaurant. (They’re both poor university students; did anyone expect anything different?)</p><p>The city is bathed in the warm light of golden hour, the streets growing busier and busier as more time passes. Just like the cars on the main road zooming by his apartment complex, the cycle of rush hour is (occasionally) a welcome constant, and Asahi can’t help but stare out the window as Nishinoya drones on about something that happened during one of his classes the other day. Asahi’s still listening, of course, but there’s a strange sense of peace instilled in him at the moment that he doesn’t get often.</p><p>“—so, anyway,” Nishinoya says as he takes the last bite of his burger. He licks his index finger to catch the dripping sauce, and Asahi’s eyes are locked onto it. “Saki-chan <em> finally </em>told Sato-kun to fuck off, and he got so mad he straight up stormed out of the room! Tomorrow’s going to be interesting.” He sighs, then looks at Asahi. “Hey, Asahi-san, are you listening?”</p><p>Asahi flinches, nearly dropping his fry into his drink. “Uh—yeah. I’m listening.”</p><p>“Okay, good! What were you staring at, anyway?”</p><p>“Oh… nothing important.”</p><p>Nishinoya shrugs. “Okay.” Then he checks his phone and jumps when he sees what Asahi assumes to be the time. “Crap, it’s already 7:30! I have to get home and take care of my sister.”</p><p>“...You have a sister?” Asahi blinks.</p><p>“Wait, have I never told you?”</p><p>Asahi shakes his head.</p><p>“Ah,” Nishinoya says, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah, she was born last year. She’s tiny. And my parents are going out tonight, so they want me to take care of her.”</p><p>“So you have to go now?”</p><p>“Yeah. Sorry about that, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Ah, no, it’s no problem at all!” Asahi says, waving his hand back and forth nonchalantly as he clears the table with his other hand. “Do you have a ride home?”</p><p>“Same way I got here. Bus.”</p><p>“That doesn’t sound fun.” Asahi remembers the hours and hours of busing he did to get <em> anywhere</em>, really, before he got his license. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone. “I can drive you home, if you’d like.”</p><p>Nishinoya’s eyes light up. “Really?”</p><p>“Would I offer to do something I wouldn’t want to?”</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>“Shush,” Asahi laughs. “We don’t talk about that.”</p><p>Nishinoya grins. “Okay, then. I’ll go with you. Thanks, Asahi-san!”</p><p>The two quickly clean up their table and exit the restaurant. Asahi’s car is still parked in front of the boba shop, which is a couple of blocks down. The air is fresh and warm, and Asahi breathes it all in, savouring the mild spring weather he knows will be gone within a couple of weeks. His and Nishinoya’s shoulders brush every so often as they walk. Asahi blames it on the busy sidewalk.</p><p>Eventually, they make it back to the boba shop, and Asahi approaches the car.</p><p>“Here we are,” he announces, and presses the button on the key, which unlocks the car with a light <em> beep</em>.</p><p>“Fancy,” Nishinoya notes with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>Asahi enters the driver’s seat and Nishinoya the passenger’s (once again, déjà vu), and they both buckle up before they head off.</p><p>The car ride is rather silent but not uncomfortable as Asahi takes the time to replenish his low energy. Hanging out with Nishinoya is great and all, but he has a stark limit to what he can do in one day, and this was something that took a <em> lot </em> out of him. He considers doing something more relaxing the next time they hang out—maybe that study session they mentioned a handful of times? But that’s even if he has the courage to ask in the first place. (Which he probably doesn’t.)</p><p>Driving along the road now, Asahi doesn’t need a GPS—Nishinoya is here to tell him where to go and when to turn.  Some old pop song is playing on the radio, and Asahi hums along to it.</p><p>It feels a lot nicer, Asahi thinks, being like this, even if they aren’t talking much. </p><p>Eventually, they make it to Nishinoya’s neighbourhood, and Asahi slows down. </p><p>“Turn here,” Nishinoya says as they approach a t-junction in the road, staring out the window with his head against the glass. Asahi does so, and he recognizes the house at the end of the street. It looks different in the evening glow. Or maybe it’s just the increased number of cars parked in the driveway, which went from zero to three since Sunday midnight. Asahi can only assume his family is back.</p><p>Pulling up to the side of the road, Asahi parks the car and unlocks the doors. There’s a sycamore blooming overhead, and its white bark appears almost yellow in the light.</p><p>“Thanks for today, Asahi-san,” Nishinoya smiles as he slightly pushes open the side door. “I had a lot of fun.”</p><p>“Me too.” Something rolls in Asahi's chest, and he swallows. “Hey, we, um, should hang out again sometime. If you want to.”</p><p>“Definitely! Text me, okay?”</p><p>Asahi raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you the one who always calls, though?”</p><p>“<em>You </em> text, though! It’s like our thing. You text, and I call!”</p><p>“Our... thing?”</p><p>“Don’t question it.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>Nishinoya laughs and opens the door a little more, one foot dangling outside. “Anyway. I really appreciate you dropping me off, Asahi-san. I would hug you, but…”</p><p>Asahi chuckles. “Yeah. I’ll see you around, Noya.”</p><p>“Bye!”</p><p>Nishinoya exits the car and shuts the door behind him, the warm air of the season disappearing.</p><p>Asahi watches as Nishinoya cuts through the grass and heads onto the porch, reaching for his keys to open the door. The warm orange light seems to sparkle against Nishinoya’s skin, and Asahi can’t help but stare. He looks like he’s glowing.</p><p>But Asahi feels a bit like a stalker, so he tears his eyes away from Nishinoya. The flowerbed on the porch beside him looks nice.</p><p>Finally, Nishinoya gets the door open and waves one last goodbye before shutting the door behind him.</p><p>Then Asahi sighs.</p><p>It’s coming, he knows, the confrontation. He can’t keep going on ignoring it, especially if he wants to be close to Nishinoya again. If he wants to be happy loving him again. And he keeps telling himself he <em> should </em> mention it—it’ll only get worse with time, and with his luck, he knows it’ll rear its ugly head at the worst time. But he can’t bring himself to do it. The words die in his throat before they even reach his mouth, and out comes nothing.</p><p>He’ll do it one day, is what he keeps telling himself.</p><p>But the high of the evening is fading with the setting sun, and now all Asahi can feel is dread.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i want to say that the rest of the chapter will be closer to 5k but also i'm halfway through chapter three and it's 3k words so. yeah let's not trust my judgement anymore.</p><p>also i hoped u liked drunk suga's texting &lt;3 it was fun to write</p><p>next chapter: possibly when? no one knows, not even me. partially because school is a bitch and also clubs and i have like 3 hours of free time a daY. maybe. i aim for next wedneday! see you then my loves &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i'm over this rollercoaster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so i said i was gonna post this on wednesday but uhh here i am posting it on tuesday. partially because i'm sad and i need some validation rn lmao. either way, my hypothesis from last week is right ! this chapter is only about 5.5k words, a bit shorter than the first, so i'm sorry about that as well!! it's just the way the chapters seemed to work out lol.</p><p>anyway, have y'all had enough fluff? no? well too bad because here comes the angst &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Asahi returns to the apartment after his pseudo-date with Nishinoya, he’s greeted with the smell of lemon and sanitizer in the air. Even in the darkness, the living room looks neater now than when he left—someone definitely cleaned up.</p><p>He tries not to think about the implications.</p><p>“I’m home,” Asahi says, exhausted, as he toes off his shoes and flips on the lights. He drags his feet toward the couch, eyes half open—it’s only 8:15pm, but he’s almost too tired to speak. Right now, his energy is at about zero, for numerous reasons. At least nine of them are because he spent all of his time overthinking on the way back.</p><p>“Suga?” Asahi calls again when no one answers. “Daichi? Where—”</p><p>His leg hits something protruding on the couch, and Asahi stumbles forward. When he looks back, he realizes it’s a <em> limb</em>; the couple in question are cuddling on the sofa. It would have been cute if both of their shirts weren’t off.</p><p>They must have fallen asleep. Typical them.</p><p>Unfortunately, it seems Asahi woke them up, because the soft lump that he assumes to be Daichi rouses and begins to move around. There’s a groan as he struggles to sit up, pushing the blanket off him, and Asahi moves back.</p><p>“Asahi?” Daichi yawns, rubbing his eyes. “I… I told you not to come back until after dinner.”</p><p>Asahi just shakes his head and holds out his phone to show Daichi the time.</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Suga’s still asleep?” Asahi asks, his voice soft, then sits down on the other couch. He puts his elbow on the armrest and leans his head on his hand.</p><p>“Yeah,” Daichi says after he looks over. Suga’s face is pressed against the cushion, a wet spot on the couch right below his mouth—he’s always been a drooler. Asahi wonders if Nishinoya drools in his sleep, too. He wouldn’t put it past him, but Asahi finds the thought cute.</p><p>Daichi yawns again, and he sounds much more awake this time. “How was your date?”</p><p>“It was good. How was yours?”</p><p>“Oh, it was <em> really </em>good,” Daichi smirks. “Today was different than usual, but we—”</p><p>“Alright!” Asahi says quickly, slamming his hands over his ears. “Too much information, Daichi! Way too much!”</p><p>He just laughs. “That’s what you get when you live with us.”</p><p>“Constant third wheeling.”</p><p>“Yep. Speaking of that, actually,” Daichi hums as he leans toward Asahi. “Or opposite of that, I guess. Did you clear anything up with Nishinoya?”</p><p>“What?” The exhaustion in Asahi’s body is suddenly gone, and he sits up straight as he laughs awkwardly. “N—Nishinoya? What do you mean, Daichi? I wouldn’t have had the chance to talk to him since—”</p><p>“You know you’re not fooling anyone, right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Asahi sighs.</p><p>“It was kind of obvious. You wouldn’t hang out with anyone else except us. Seeing that you have no social life and all that.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he repeats, defeated.</p><p>“So? What happened?”</p><p>Asahi shifts uncomfortably on the couch. “Well. We went for boba. We ate dinner. I dropped him home. Nothing else really happened.”</p><p>“Aw, come on! You can tell me. You won’t even have to deal with Suga, since he’s asleep, anyway.”</p><p>“No, I’m not.”</p><p>Their eyes turn toward the sleeper in question, whose eyebrows are now raised in amusement. Suga sits up and playfully shoves Daichi off him, who gasps in mock offence as he moves over.</p><p>“You know, people usually say <em> good morning </em> when they wake up,” Daichi rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Good morning, then.”</p><p>“Good morning, Suga!”</p><p>“Actually, I was talking to Asahi.”</p><p>Daichi shakes his head. “You’re a horrible boyfriend. I should just date Asahi instead.”</p><p>“He has someone else in mind,” Suga shoots back “So too bad. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not. Besides, it’s not like Asahi can give me good sex, anyway.”</p><p>“I—” Asahi’s eyes dart around the room in confusion. “I don’t know whether to feel complimented or offended.”</p><p>“You and I are in the same boat, buddy,” Daichi comforts, shaking his head. “So, are you going to explain your date to us or not?”</p><p>“I told you, nothing happened!”</p><p>“Tell us!” Suga whispers. “Tell us, tell us—”</p><p>Asahi groans and drops his head into his hands. Somehow, he feels a sense of déja vu. “I mean like, literally <em> nothing</em>. We talked and caught up but neither of us mentioned the kiss at all and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember it, okay?”</p><p>“...I thought you said you were going to talk to him about it.”</p><p>“I said <em> eventually</em>.”</p><p>“I thought that meant you would talk to him today?”</p><p>Asahi raises his arms in defeat. “Alright! I’m a coward. I get it. One day just isn’t enough for me to be comfortable, alright?”</p><p>“And whose fault is that?” Daichi teases.</p><p>Suga shoots him a dirty look. Then he sighs and takes a loose strand of his hair to curl around his finger. He’s staring Asahi up and down with an intense look on his face, and Asahi swallows nervously.</p><p>“W—what?”</p><p>“I didn’t mean it like that,” Suga frowns, “so stop saying you’re a coward. I’ll fight you.”</p><p>“Um. I don’t think—”</p><p>“<em> I’ll fight you</em>.”</p><p>Asahi chuckles and scratches the back of his head. “Okay. Thanks, Suga,” he says, letting out a small breath. “I’ll talk to him eventually, alright? And I do mean eventually. Just give me some time.” Bringing his knees to his chest, he sighs and speaks quietly. “He… he wants to hang out again.”</p><p>“What’s the problem?” Daichi frowns. “Isn’t that a good thing?”</p><p>“Do we have to reschedule tomorrow’s loving polyamorous date night between the three of us?” Suga says jokingly.</p><p>“No, no!” Asahi shakes his head. “Definitely not. I love you guys and our loving polyamorous relationship that I’m still somehow third wheeling in.” Suga snorts a little at that. It’s a little inside joke they have together, since they’ve been together since the start of high school. He’s in no way poking fun at polygamous people—it’s just that, sometimes, the way the three of them are together might make someone else think such. “I’m just worried.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“About <em> why </em> he wants to hang out.”</p><p>“Because he wants to hang out with you…?” Daichi asks, raising an eyebrow. “Why else would he ask?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe he—”</p><p>“Ah!” Suga interrupts, and lifts a finger pointedly. “Stop it, Asahi! I already know where you’re going with this. Don’t you dare even start.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“Suga’s right,” Daichi says. “You look tired, too. Maybe you should go to bed.”</p><p>“It’s 8:30!”</p><p>Defeated, Asahi lets out a sigh. What they’re saying might be true; it’s been a long day, and even if he’s no longer on the verge of keeling over, it would still be a good idea to have some alone time. There’s no way he’s going to bed, though. To make him go to bed at 8:30, someone would have to drag him by the collar and choke him until he passes out.</p><p>Not that he’s into that.</p><p>Asahi’s face blanches at the thought.</p><p>“Alright,” he finally says, shaking his head. He stands up and stretches for a moment before heading toward his room. “I guess I’ll be going.”</p><p>Daichi taps his shoulder as he walks by. “You got this, okay? Don’t overthink. Suga and I are here if you need us.”</p><p>“What he said,” Suga smiles, patting him gently.</p><p>“I’ll try,” Asahi says awkwardly. “Good night, Suga. Daichi.”</p><p>“Night!” the two of them say in unison as he opens his door and shuts it behind him.</p><p>Then he collapses onto his bed.</p><p><em> It’ll be fine</em>, he tells himself as his face is pressed into the sheets. <em> He’ll text you—or call you, more likely—about the next time you’re going to be hanging out and from there you can make plans on how to confront him! Because you definitely need to do that. Yes. That is. Something you need to do. Yeah. So it’ll be fine! It’ll be great, and—</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>In the end, Asahi doesn’t confront Nishinoya about it for three weeks.</p><p>Midterms come and go, as do the last remnants of cold in the spring as it transitions into June, nothing but sweltering heat and sweat as gentle gifts of the season. That Monday is the last day Asahi can wear long pants outside, even through the many occasions he and Nishinoya meet up to hang out. And as time passes, he finds the other boy taking up more and more of his schedule—during the third week, they have plans to meet up almost every day.</p><p>Daichi and Suga don’t mind; they see Asahi at home, anyway, and their weekly movie nights are always a go. Asahi wouldn’t dare give up his friendship with them for Nishinoya. He wants both, of course. So as long as neither of them mind, he’s perfectly fine. Nishinoya tends to initiate most things, anyway, so he’s certain <em> he </em> doesn’t mind, either. At least, he hopes.</p><p>But that’s also part of the problem. Since they’re hanging out so often, Asahi keeps telling himself he’ll bring it up the next time. Then the next. And then the next. So he never does it, and has no real plans to in the near future.</p><p>Like procrastination, but for confrontation. Procrastfrontation.</p><p>He’s been rather close, he thinks, out of the seven-ish times they’ve hung out. (He refuses to call them dates. Because they’re not.) That is, if you can call <em> close </em> attempting to work up the courage to bring it up while Nishinoya is in the bathroom but not getting very far because Nishinoya always comes back within half a minute, and <em> god, </em> why does he always come back so quickly? Does he not wash his hands or something? Asahi can only hope that isn’t the case.</p><p>He might’ve been afraid he’d start slacking off with school (since, according to Daichi, he has no social life anyway) but it seems to have had the opposite effect. Whenever Asahi is studying, he feels more motivated than ever before. Maybe it’s because he has the chance to see Nishinoya. Or maybe Nishinoya is just rubbing off on Asahi; he <em> has </em> been feeling like he’s had an excess amount of energy lately.</p><p>Needless to say, he doesn’t regret it. These three weeks have brought them closer than they’ve ever been before, and there are no signs of it slowing down. If it stays this way—maybe, just maybe—Asahi can finally move on from last year.</p><p>So, here they are, studying in Asahi’s apartment while Suga and Daichi are out.</p><p>Yes, they’re really studying. Lord knows Nishinoya needs it.</p><p>“—so after all that,” Asahi is telling him, “what are the necessary components to form an ester? Tell me the catalysts and the name of the reaction, as well.”</p><p>Nishinoya squints at the page. They’re sitting beside each other at the kitchen table, chairs moved out of the way for ease of access. The late afternoon sun is shining through the large windows and illuminating the otherwise dark apartment, and Asahi welcomes it. A slight breeze can be felt from the rotating fan in the corner of the room. Nishinoya is biting the flat end of his pen, and his foot is tapping impatiently on the ground beside them—a habit Asahi thinks is cuter than he probably should.</p><p>But even when he finds Nishinoya adorable, Asahi can’t help but feel slightly aggravated with his academic habits. It’s Sunday, and Nishinoya’s big test is at the end of the week. It seems like a lot of time, but this is really the only time they’ll be able to <em> really </em>study. This week is packed for both of them; they seriously have to pick up the pace.</p><p>“...Is it two alcohols?” Nishinoya finally asks cautiously.</p><p>He presses a hand to his temple. “You’re thinking of an ether, Noya. An ester requires an alcohol and a carboxylic acid under the presence of heat and… sulfuric acid, I think? It’s called esterification. And it also makes water.”</p><p>“I was close! Besides, they sound so similar! How am I supposed to know the difference between them?”</p><p>“This is review! You were supposed to learn this last year!”</p><p>Nishinoya scratches the back of his head and laughs awkwardly. “I may have fallen asleep in that class. On more than one occasion.” Then he sighs. “How do you remember all of this?”</p><p>“Because I <em> listened </em>in class. And also because I looked over it yesterday to remember.”</p><p>“You did all that for little ol’ me?” Nishinoya bats his eyes.</p><p>Asahi pushes him gently and lets out a small laugh. “Stop that! We have to get back to work.”</p><p>“But I can’t go on, Asahi-san!” He suddenly tumbles over into Asahi’s lap, and Asahi jumps. Sighing dramatically, he puts a hand to his forehead and lets his other arm fall onto the cushion he’s sitting on. Nishinoya’s eyes are closed. “Can’t we take a break? Just a short one? I promise I’ll work hard!”</p><p>Asahi’s eyes dart between Nishinoya and the handful of notebooks on the table. “Well…”</p><p>Nishinoya opens an eye excitedly.</p><p>“In half an hour,” he decides, just to be a little mean. “We can look through the rest of the notes and then we’ll be done for the day. We can do other stuff afterward.”</p><p>Nishinoya sighs and sits back up. Asahi almost misses the warmth. “It was worth a try.” He steels himself, slapping both sides of his face gently—a habit he’s gotten from Tanaka, no doubt. “Let’s get this shit done!”</p><p>“That’s more like it,” Asahi smiles.</p><p>It ends up taking them twice the estimated length. A whole hour passes by faster than either of them realizes, and when they finally pack up the textbooks and notes strewn all over the table, Asahi can see hints of the evening coming upon them in the slight golden tint of the sky. The sky is clear, and the temperature lowers ever so slightly. He goes to turn off the fan.</p><p>“So!” Nishinoya says when Asahi returns to the table. “What do you want to do now?”</p><p>Asahi taps his fingers against his thigh. It’s a habit he’s picked up from Nishinoya, for sure. “Movie?” he suggests. You can never go wrong with that.</p><p>“So it’s Netflix and chill time, huh~?”</p><p>Asahi rolls his eyes. “Right.”</p><p>Two weeks ago, he might have jumped at that, but he’s quickly come to realize that Nishinoya is more of a flirt than Asahi took him for. He’ll admit, he’s smooth. Even now, he catches Asahi off-guard on occasion, and it’s all he can do to <em> not </em> fall over into a sobbing mess in front of him.</p><p>Asahi has his life together.</p><p>Nishinoya grabs a blanket (from where, Asahi has no idea; Nishinoya’s practically made this place his second home) and flops down onto the couch while Asahi shoves some instant popcorn into the microwave and sets the timer for two minutes. Then he heads to the living room to check the myriad of movies on Netflix Nishinoya is scrolling through, each one making him shake his head more than the last.</p><p>“What about that one?” Asahi offers just as they pass <em> Grave of the Fireflies </em>by Studio Ghibli—a classic, he thinks. He’s only watched it once, but it’s definitely lasted an impact on him. Suga can’t get through more than half of the movie without needing to pause it because he’s crying too much. Daichi pretends not to cry. He’s always crying.</p><p>“Er,” Nishinoya shrugs. “Not sure if I’m in a sobbing mood today.”</p><p>“It’s a sobbing mood everyday, Nishinoya.”</p><p>“Not when I’m with you.”</p><p>“Just pick a movie,” Asahi laughs. Then the microwave goes off with an obnoxious <em> beeping </em> sound, and he spins around. The smell of butter wafts through the air. “Oh, that’s the popcorn. I’ll be back.”</p><p>Eventually, they end up choosing <em> A Silent Voice</em>. Another classic, Asahi would say, but it’s hard to be certain because he’s never watched it. When Nishinoya hears that, he just stares.</p><p>“How?” is all he says.</p><p>Asahi shrugs.</p><p>“Well, we’re watching it for sure now. Whether you like it or not, Asahi-san! Get comfy, because it’s time to watch two hours and ten minutes of pure sadness!”</p><p>“I thought you said you weren’t in a crying mood?”</p><p>“This is an exception.”</p><p>“Okay,” is all Asahi can manage to say, and Nishinoya clicks the play button. </p><p>They end up cuddling on the couch (now extended out into a couch-bed for more leg room) under a blanket as the movie begins, Nishinoya snuggled on Asahi’s chest and between his arms. He isn’t really sure how they got there, but he doesn’t mind. It’s so warm, and Asahi doesn’t want to move an inch. He’s perfectly happy where he is now.</p><p>Except not really, because they’re <em>cuddling</em>.</p><p>Ten minutes in, Asahi can barely focus on the screen. He’s too busy trying his hardest not to panic and overload and explode and <em> fucking die</em>. It’s the first time Nishinoya has ever gone this far with this physical affection; not that Asahi minds, but he’s worried. As always. <em>This is what friends do</em>, he tells himself over and over. <em>This is what friends do! They cuddle while watching a movie. </em> Or anything, really. He cuddles with Daichi and Suga all the time—hand holding, platonic kisses, you name it. </p><p>But this feels so different.</p><p>God, he really needs to get over his crush.</p><p><em> ...Maybe today is the day</em>, Asahi thinks for the briefest moment. <em> Get it over and done with. Find out what’s really going on</em>. But just as quickly, he’s overwhelmed by the thought of it and pushes the idea away. His stomach churns.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Nishinoya asks gently, and looks up.</p><p>“...Yeah.”</p><p>“We can watch something else if it’s too sad for you. Though, we aren’t even past the intro.”</p><p>Asahi diverts his attention back to the movie. “Don’t worry,” he reassures, and he means it. “I like it. I’m just thinking.”</p><p>“What are you thinking about?”</p><p>“N—nothing important. Just daydreaming. I guess.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Somehow, he’s able to make out what’s happening on-screen—he knows the characters and the general story, so he isn’t too worried about focusing all his attention onto it. If there’s one thing he’ll note, though, it’s that the movie’s soundtrack doesn’t fit the scenes at all, yet so perfectly at the same time.</p><p>That’s impressive as hell, if Asahi does say so himself.</p><p>If anyone asked him what he’d most likely be doing during a movie, he’d definitely say overthinking—especially in a situation like this one. But Asahi finds himself being absorbed into the screen, like never before. Between the story and the character interactions, he has no time to think and a bunch of time to <em> feel</em>. </p><p>It’s a nice change of pace, even with all the crying. He really does regret not watching this sooner.</p><p>By the time the movie ends an hour and a half later, Asahi’s vision is blurry as he presses his face into the blanket to catch the falling tears.</p><p>“This movie has <em> no </em> right being that sad,” he mumbles. The bag of popcorn, long eaten, sits on the table, a handful of unpopped kernels falling out. It’s half past eight according to the clock above the TV, and it’s getting dark; the sun has long set. He really should be dropping Nishinoya home soon, but he can’t bring himself to care. Daichi and Suga aren’t home yet, so what’s the rush? He’s enjoying his time with Nishinoya. He shouldn’t stop himself from being happy.</p><p>“How’d you like it?” Nishinoya grins. It’s hard to tell in the darkness, but it looks like his eyes might be puffy. “Good movie, right?”</p><p>“You can say that again.”</p><p>“Good movie, right?”</p><p>Asahi laughs and stretches his arms. “Definitely. I’m surprised you like it, though. Didn’t take you for the type.”</p><p>“What, you thought I was all—” Nishinoya narrows his eyes and shoots finger guns around the room— “like, <em> bam bam</em>, action! Pow! Science fiction, death! Bleh!”</p><p>“...Maybe.”</p><p>“Asahi-san!”</p><p>“Hey, you can’t blame me!” Asahi raises his arms in defence. “I can’t be the only one who thinks that. If you saw yourself on the street with your wild hair, you’d probably assume you were pretty action-y, you know?”</p><p>“I would think, <em> this man must have exquisite taste in movies. Philosophy and the like.</em>”</p><p>Asahi rolls his eyes. “Suuuure. And if I saw myself on the street, I would think I was a professional boxer who’s been in the ring for three years.”</p><p>“Mmm, you’re right. Maybe closer to five.”</p><p>“Oh my god, shut up!” he laughs and gently shoves Nishinoya. “I know I look like I’m thirty. You don’t have to point it out every time.”</p><p>Nishinoya lets himself fall over onto the other side of the couch, and the warmth leaves Asahi. “No, no, I have to! Then you can be my sugar daddy or something. Endless money!”</p><p>“I’m <em> pretty </em> sure you make more money than I do. If anything, you’d be my sugar daddy.”</p><p>Nishinoya makes a face. Asahi chuckles.</p><p>Then Nishinoya lets out a sigh and collapses back onto Asahi. “But yeah. This movie is good. Like, really good.” He has such a content look on his face—Asahi can’t help but feel the same way, from both the movie <em> and </em>Nishinoya being more affectionate than ever before. Even if he can’t date him, Asahi will take what he can get. Cuddles are more than enough.</p><p>“You know, it’s getting kind of late,” Asahi says, almost hoping Nishinoya doesn’t hear him. He has to say it, though. It would be rude to keep him longer than he wants to.</p><p>“8:30 is <em> not </em> late.”</p><p>“Don’t forget it takes you half an hour to get home!”</p><p>Nishinoya rolls his eyes. “Come on, Asahi-san. A couple of weeks ago you were out until 2am. This is nothing.”</p><p>“Yeah, but… we both have class tomorrow.”</p><p>He scratches the back of his head and snuggles closer to Asahi. “Ah. That’s true.”</p><p>“What, did you already forget what the point of hanging out today was?” Asahi teases. “All that studying better not have been for nothing.”</p><p>“I just wanted to see you, really.”</p><p>Asahi looks away. “You’ve got to stop saying that.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Well… it—”</p><p>“Every time I’ve said it was the truth, Asahi-san.”</p><p>Asahi looks back, and he’s suddenly met with deep brown eyes as Nishinoya’s face slowly edges closer to his own; a bit <em> too </em>close for Asahi’s liking. Nishinoya’s head is facing up as Asahi looks down—almost like the stereotypical Spider-Man kiss, but on a different angle. If they just moved a couple of inches, they’d bump foreheads. Asahi can feel Nishinoya’s warm breath against his cheek.</p><p>“Asahi-san.” Nishinoya’s voice is low as he moves closer yet.</p><p>“...Nishinoya?”</p><p>Asahi cups the sides of Nishinoya’s face with his hands and gently lifts it toward his own. He feels his eyes closing, strangely at peace despite his heart hammering in his chest. Warmth floods through him at the thought. The atmosphere is perfect. They’re in total darkness except for the moonlight streaming through the windows and the dim light of the TV, its static buzzing in the otherwise silent room, and—</p><p>“<em>I have to talk to you about something</em>,” Asahi suddenly says a little too loudly, and they pull apart faster than he can blink. Asahi hits his foot on the table as he jerks back. He yelps.</p><p>“A—are you okay, Asahi-san?”</p><p>Asahi swallows. “Y—yeah. Yeah! I’m fine. Sorry for startling you.”</p><p>“It’s no problem. What, uh, did you need to talk about?”</p><p>Asahi’s eyes widen as the realization of exactly what he just said dawns on him. Dread drops down on him like an iron bar and slaps him in the face, then decks him in the balls, just for good measure.</p><p>“Uh,” Asahi stammers. “Well—it’s, um… it’s, uh. You know. Stuff.”</p><p>“...You can tell me another time, if you’d like.”</p><p>Asahi takes a deep breath, then shakes his head. “No.” It’s either now or never—he doubts he’s going to get a chance like this again, at least not for a long while. “I’ll… I’ll tell you. It’s kind of important. It’s about, um, the party three weeks ago.”</p><p>Nishinoya goes silent.</p><p>
  <em> Keep going, Asahi. You can do this. </em>
</p><p>“The day after the party,” he starts softly, “when you asked me if I remembered anything from that night while you were drunk, I… I lied. I said no.” He swallows. “I don’t know if you remember, but, um, something <em> did </em> happen.”</p><p>Nishinoya doesn’t speak. He doesn’t look Asahi in the eye.</p><p>“I don’t know how to say this without sounding awkward, but…” Asahi averts his gaze. “We kissed. Or more specifically, you kissed me. In my car. And I kissed back. And, um, it was nice, I guess? Wait, that sounds like I’m calling you a bad kisser. You aren’t, I promise! You were great. I think. I’ve actually never kissed anyone before that, so, um, I’m just going to stop talking now.”</p><p>When he looks up at Nishinoya, Asahi’s face feels like it’s on fire. </p><p>“I stole your first kiss…?” is what he asks.</p><p>Numbly, Asahi nods.</p><p>“Well…” Nishinoya’s voice cracks. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean anything by it. So you’re fine. I—I’m sorry.”</p><p>
  <em> I didn’t mean anything by it. </em>
</p><p>Those words reverberate in Asahi’s mind like a clap of thunder in an empty cave, and the world around him is fuzzy. The chill of the air feels ten times colder around him, yet Asahi almost laughs. He should have known the kiss meant nothing—both the drunk kiss and this almost-kiss. Why would Nishinoya be interested in Asahi, anyway? Overthinking at its finest. It’s what he does best, really.</p><p>But Asahi <em> did </em> know. It’s what he’s been telling himself all this time; the kiss was nothing. There was no way Nishinoya liked him back. So he knew.</p><p>Right?</p><p>No. No, that’s a lie.</p><p>Despite it all, there was still a part of him that wished, that <em> hoped </em> there was a chance his feelings would be returned. That he might be happy with Nishinoya without the lingering feeling of unrequited love hanging over them like a dense fog that never leaves.</p><p>But he should’ve known.</p><p>It hurts.</p><p>Asahi swallows thickly, struggling to hold back the tears pricking at his eyes.</p><p>“Okay,” he manages to say. “Sorry.”</p><p>Nishinoya’s on the opposite side of the couch—a distance that feels wider than it should. “I…” His face looks pale in the dim light. “Um. You know, Asahi-san, you were right. It <em> is </em> getting kind of late, so I think I’ll be going home now. I’ll bus home. Don’t—don’t worry about me. Thanks for today.”</p><p>That hits Asahi even harder than the truth, somehow. Being rejected is bad enough. But now it seems like their friendship is going to end, too. Asahi never should have brought it up. He would’ve been content with Nishinoya in blissful ignorance of the kiss, of the hint that there might have been something more.</p><p>He feels so cold.</p><p>“So that’s it, huh?” Asahi murmurs, clenching his fists so hard his nails leave marks in his palms. “This is where our friendship is going to end again.”</p><p>“...Again?”</p><p>Asahi chuckles, but there’s no humour in it. “Yeah. Again. This happened last year, too. I suppose that’s just how it is with us,” he muses bitterly. “On and off unless one of us has enough and cuts the other off. Don’t you think so, Nishinoya?”</p><p>“That’s—that’s not it.” Nishinoya’s voice is fragile.</p><p>“Really, Noya?” Fury begins to boil inside of Asahi, and he stands up. He feels like a tower standing over Nishinoya. “Because last I checked, I wasn’t the one who suddenly started to ignore me. I wasn’t the one who texted back less and less until they stopped answering altogether. I wasn’t the one who intentionally tried to make us <em>drift</em> <em>apart </em>just because you got a stupid <em>girlfriend</em>!”</p><p>Asahi’s yelling now, but his chest hurts so, <em> so </em> much. He presses a hand to it.</p><p>Nishinoya looks on the verge of tears.</p><p>“I—” Asahi forces himself to turn around, facing the huge window instead. Even at night, cars still drive by with their red headlights, illuminating the nighttime city like a Christmas tree. A constant.</p><p>Two years ago, Asahi might have backed down. Just like with the broom, Asahi might have taken a single step back—a single step that broke him and Nishinoya apart like water smashing straight through a dam. He might have given in, crushed under the weight of his anxiety and fear, and fled as a coward.</p><p>But this isn’t two years ago anymore. This is now.</p><p>He might be terrified, and he might be a chronic overthinker, but he knows his worth and what Nishinoya is to him. What he is to Nishinoya.</p><p>And he isn’t going to let it end here. He has to know.</p><p>When Asahi speaks again, his voice is softer. Defeated. “I don’t know why you getting a girlfriend even concerned me, Noya. I would’ve been happy for you. I would have given you space if you needed. We could’ve… we could’ve stayed friends.” Asahi’s voice breaks. “Why did you have to <em> leave</em>?”</p><p>Nishinoya is silent on the couch, and Asahi can only understand that as, <em> I’m thinking</em>. Whether it’s thinking of the truth or a lie, though, is beyond Asahi. He turns back around.</p><p>“I couldn’t be around you anymore,” Nishinoya finally whispers, his eyes red, and it takes a moment for Asahi to realize—</p><p>He’s crying.</p><p>“You… couldn’t be around me anymore? What—what does that even mean?”</p><p>“I… I can’t say.”</p><p>“Why <em> not </em>?” Asahi asks, frustration building up.</p><p>“I just can’t, okay? Asahi-san, please. It doesn’t matter, anyway—”</p><p>“No,” Asahi orders. “I’m not going to let this be like last time. You’re <em> not </em> going to keep hiding things from me and pretending everything is fine. Because it’s not, okay? There’s something happening between us and I refuse to ignore it. So tell me, Nishinoya Yuu.” He clenches his jaw. “What. The hell. Do you mean by that?”</p><p>Nishinoya presses his face into his hand and lets out a frustrated groan. “Fine, Asahi-san. I didn’t get a girlfriend! It was all a fucking lie, okay? Are you happy now?”</p><p>
  <em> He never had a girlfriend…? </em>
</p><p>Asahi’s mouth doesn’t seem to be working as he processes the words.</p><p>“I—I don’t—” He shakes his head firmly. “I don’t understand, Noya.”</p><p>“Then don’t. It’s not my fault if you’re too dense to realize.”</p><p>At that, anger starts to boil in the pit of his stomach all over again.</p><p><em> Just tell me, for fuck’s sake! </em> Asahi wants to scream, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lets out a shaky breath. “You know what, Nishinoya? Fine. I don’t care anymore. We can talk about this tomorrow or the day after or even later, but I’m done for today. I don’t want to see you right now, so go home. Get Suga to drop you off or something. But I’m not taking care of you anymore.”</p><p>Maybe this is better for the both of them. Asahi’s emotions might be at an all time high right now, but even he knows staying any longer will just lead to a bigger argument; rage rather than their minds governing their lips, and words that can’t be taken back.</p><p>“Asahi—” Nishinoya tries, reaching his hand out.</p><p>“<em>Stop it, </em>” he snaps. “I told you. I’m done. I won’t stand for you insulting me again.” Because just as his compliments are genuine, it seems his insults are, too.</p><p>Asahi watches as the words die on Nishinoya’s lips, and he feels a chill run through him. </p><p>Hands shaking, Nishinoya nods.</p><p>“Okay,” he says, his voice hoarse.</p><p>He slowly stands up. Without a word, he takes his first step toward the door. He’s eerily calm, and before Asahi realizes, Nishinoya’s at the front door, bag already in hand. The world seems to move in slow motion, yet at double speed at the same time. Asahi’s head hurts. There are no tears; no crying to be found from either of them as Nishinoya places his hand on the doorknob and twists it open.</p><p>All it is, is a quiet submission.</p><p>“See you later, Azumane-san,” Nishinoya says.</p><p>Then he’s gone, the door gently clicking as it locks back into place.</p><p>All the dread and grief of the argument comes at him all once like an insurmountable tidal wave, punching him in the gut at every opportune moment. What he said, what he did—it’s <em> so much. </em> It hurts, but Asahi still can’t bring himself to cry. He takes a wobbly step back toward the couch and sits down, sinking into the cushion. There’s a howl of wind blowing from somewhere in the apartment—an open window, probably. Asahi isn’t sure how he didn’t notice it before.</p><p>He can’t believe that, just a couple of minutes ago, he was about to have his first (second, if you want to be technical about it) kiss with Nishinoya.</p><p>And now…</p><p>Asahi sighs. He’s not stupid. He might be dense, but he’s not stupid. He can use logic to come to conclusions. And that’s exactly what he’s doing right now, because if what Asahi is thinking is the truth…</p><p>Well, he isn’t sure <em> what </em> to believe anymore.</p><p>The warmth of the apartment that once enveloped Asahi is now gone, instead replaced with a frigid cold he can’t escape.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>not me showing off the fact i'm in AP chem and using info from there in my fics😌✨ (if the info's wrong don't come at me ok i'm just Big Dumb)</p><p>also can you tell i'm a big fan of a silent voice. yes it's my favourite movie. no i'm not afraid to admit it. lmao</p><p>final chapter: it's well on its way to being done; hopefully coming next week if my schedule allows! resolution. expect a kiss. (not like it's a surprise anyway—i assume y'all came here to read some asanoya fluff~) so see y'all then !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. i wish (i wish, i wish)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HI IT'S STILL NOYA'S BDAY FOR THREE HOURS AND I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO FINISH THIS QUICKLY I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY &lt;33 HAPPY BDAY NOYAAAAAAAAAAA</p><p>but either way, here is the long-awaited (i think) chapter four! pls enjoy :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Daichi and Suga don’t return to the apartment until ten.</p><p>Asahi’s been holed up in his room for the past two hours. He can’t bear to stay on the living room couch, but he can’t bring himself to sleep either. There’s so much going on in his head, yet he can barely remember anything from before five seconds ago—it’s a curse, he thinks. Too stressed to focus on the k-drama he’s been trying to distract himself with, but not tired enough to fall asleep.</p><p>God, he just wants to <em> sleep</em>.</p><p>Still, no tears come. Every time a wave of emotion comes, he smothers it down with the weighted blanket he’s crushed under. It’s nice and warm against his back, his stomach pressed against the mattress as he tilts his head up to see the screen of his laptop.</p><p>His neck hurts.</p><p>Asahi doesn’t hear when Daichi and Suga come through the front (at least he knows his noise-cancelling headphones work). Only when they carefully open the door to his room with a creak, he notices them. For a moment, he thinks he’s fallen asleep; he can only see their silhouettes against the harsh light of the living room. </p><p>Then his eyes adjust, and he sees a familiar container in Daichi’s hands—his favourite tonkotsu ramen shop about a twenty minute drive from here. They only go for special occasions.</p><p>Asahi feels his eyes begin to prick with the threat of tears.</p><p>“Asahi,” Suga says softly as they enter. Gently. Like he’s fragile.</p><p>Maybe he is fragile.</p><p>Though completely out of energy, Asahi manages to close his laptop and sit up on his bed to make room for the others. The blanket is still around him, and he wraps it tighter around him. Daichi sets the tonkotsu ramen on his desk and takes a seat at the end of the bed; Suga sits closer.</p><p>“Sorry it took so long,” Suga apologizes. “Dropping off Nishinoya took the better part of an hour, and the waiting time for the food was pretty bad.”</p><p>Asahi tries his best to smile, but fails. “It—it’s okay. Thanks for doing this, guys.”</p><p>“What, you think we’d just leave you?” Daichi raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“...I don’t know. Maybe.”</p><p>“You know we would never do that,” Suga sighs. Then he moves forward and wraps his arms around Asahi, placing his head in the crook of his neck. Asahi leans into the embrace, feeling the familiar onslaught of grief again. And, though a little more awkwardly, Daichi joins them too, a steady pillar of strength beneath him. They’re surrounding him, warm and comforting and simply <em> there </em>.</p><p>This time, Asahi can’t hold back his crying, nor does he try to stop it.</p><p>“Suga, Daichi—” Asahi’s voice cracks, and he brings his head back down again. His head feels light as he attempts to wipe the away tears and the snot from his nose; he would think the others would find it gross, but even as he presses his nose into Suga’s hair, he doesn’t budge.</p><p>Daichi rubs his hand up and down Asahi’s back. “Stop that, won’t you? Just let us comfort you.”</p><p>Asahi nods numbly.</p><p>“I love you, Asahi,” Suga reminds him. “Daichi does, too. We’re here. Cry for a bit, but don’t cry too much, okay? Make sure you stay hydrated.”</p><p>‘I’ll get you water,” Daichi offers, and releases them to head to the kitchen. The door slightly creaks as he exits the room.</p><p>There are about a million things going through Asahi’s mind right now, but all he can think about is how much he loves his fucking friends. He wouldn’t trade them for the entire world. They may tease him more often than not, but they’re there for him when he needs it. And this is definitely one of those times.</p><p>Suga lets go of Asahi and shifts back on the bed a little, tucking his knees to his chin. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks gently. “You don’t have to. I just want to be here if you need it.”</p><p>“I…” Asahi’s throat feels like it’s closing up,</p><p>He shakes his head.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Then Daichi returns with a mug in hand, then hands it to Asahi. “Here,” he says. Asahi accepts it with shaky hands, then takes a short sip. He swallows thickly.</p><p>“Thanks,” he murmurs.</p><p>“Anytime, Man Bun-san,” Daichi smiles, then tilts his head toward the tonkotsu ramen. “Are you hungry, Asahi?” He shakes his head once more; his stomach is definitely not in a good place at the moment.</p><p>“Just…” Asahi’s voice is low, hoarse. “Stay here. Please.”</p><p>Suga and Daichi exchange glances.</p><p>“We can do that,” Suga reassures, smiling.</p><p>They end up cuddling on the bed, under the blanket with Asahi in the middle. Suga’s hand is in his own, rubbing his thumb back and forth along his knuckles, and Daichi is leaning on his chest with his arms crossed. Daichi doesn’t show this kind of affection often, so it’s even more touching now. And Suga—well, he may be more physically affectionate, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still grateful.</p><p>It’s really warm.</p><p>And so they stay like that until Asahi finds himself drifting off, the remnants of the night pushed to the back of his mind.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Asahi wakes up in the morning, he feels even worse than before.</p><p>He sits up groggily and looks around the room. The time is 6:13am. Daichi and Suga are gone now, of course; they probably left once he fell asleep. The memories of last night are slightly hazy—not forgotten, by any means, but almost like it was a couple of days ago. He supposes that’s what a full eight hours (or seven and a half, give or take) does to a person.</p><p>His eyes scan the room a second time, just for good measure. </p><p>That’s when he realizes just how thirsty he is. </p><p>He reaches over to grab the cup, nearly spilling it as he brings it to him, then puts it to his lips and downs the whole thing in one sip. It’s fresh and cold, and gives Asahi the gift of being slightly (just slightly) more awake than before. He smacks his lips. He tastes morning breath in his mouth—just a little more subdued from the water. </p><p>The reminder of school crosses his mind for a brief second, but he remembers that today is Monday; he doesn’t have any classes today.</p><p>Thank <em> god</em>. He doubts he would have the energy to stay awake in class, never mind take notes during his lectures. Relief washes through his lethargic limbs, and he falls back on his bed with a gentle <em> oomf</em>.</p><p>Then his stomach lets out a loud grumble, and he lurches forward.</p><p>He remembers the ramen from last night that he never ate, but it’s no longer on the table; the others must have put it away last night.</p><p>“Okay,” he says hoarsely, just to hear himself. “Let’s get some food, Asahi.”</p><p>Getting out of bed is a whole ordeal and a half, but he manages to rip off his blanket and plant himself on the floor. The carpet is rough under his bare feet, and he drags himself toward the bathroom.</p><p>He spots himself in the mirror as he passes it, grimacing. There are a lot of things he might say about himself in that moment, but one thing for certain is that he does <em> not </em> look good. His hair is stuck to one side of his head—greasy and unwashed, even though he just washed it yesterday morning—and his bloodshot eyes are still slightly puffed from last night. Holes infest his t-shirt so much they might as well be patterns on the fabric.</p><p>Right now, Asahi kind of looks like a hobo. He would laugh at that if he wasn’t feeling so disgusting.</p><p>In the bathroom, he brushes his teeth and washes his face, though it doesn’t do much to help his exhaustion. The towel is soft against his skin as he dries it. He would normally moisturize, but he decides he’ll do it later.</p><p>He sneaks out of his room and to the kitchen to open the fridge. It’s getting a little empty, so he makes a mental note to go and buy groceries one of these days, but spots the ramen on the second shelf. He props the door open with his leg before reaching in and grabbing the container. His fingers are stiff and shaky.</p><p>Carefully, he takes off the lid, puts it all into a bowl, and microwaves it for a minute and a half. </p><p>When the timer approaches one second, he goes to turn it off before it can beep (he doesn’t want to wake the others) and brings it to the dining table. The sun is in his eyes as he sets it down—most of the taller buildings block out what would be a beautiful view of the city skyline, but there are rare moments like these when the sunlight just barely grazes their apartment and reaches them through the window by the kitchen counter.</p><p>Asahi sits and checks the time.</p><p>It’s already 6:40.</p><p>The ramen is piping hot (their microwave has always been good), and he eats it slowly. With nothing but his thoughts, Asahi takes his time, the food cooling down as the minutes pass. It’s still good.</p><p><em> This is nice</em>, he thinks. </p><p>He gets about half an hour of silence before the door to Daichi’s room opens and he hobbles toward him. It’s all just as well, because any longer and Asahi would have started to <em> really </em>overthink.</p><p>“Good morning,” Daichi mumbles, yawning. He rubs his eyes as he takes a seat on the opposite side of the table, then gestures toward the empty bowl and utensils in front of Asahi. “You finished the tonkotsu ramen?”</p><p>Asahi nods. “Yeah. Thanks again, Daichi.”</p><p>“Suga bought it. Thank him.”</p><p>“Knowing him, he’ll probably have me buy him lunch again. A third lunch.”</p><p>Daichi laughs softly. “He would.”</p><p>Asahi sighs and props his chin on his hand. He didn’t notice before, but the kitchen is cleaned and cleared—something <em> he </em> was meant to do today, as Daichi and Suga both have classes in the afternoon. It’s not like it would take long, but he still appreciates the little things they do for him. Though, as he’s looking around, he specifically avoids the living room. He’s not scared of… bursting into tears or anything. It’s just that he’s in a better mood right now, and doesn’t really want to think about it the moment.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Daichi finally asks.</p><p>Asahi turns his head back to him, a little self-conscious with how hard Daichi is staring at him at the moment. “Um… I’m a little tired, but I’m okay. I think.”</p><p>Letting out a small breath, Daichi smiles. “At least I know you aren’t lying to me.”</p><p>“Yeah. I feel a lot better.”</p><p>“That’s good.” He looks toward Suga’s bedroom, and Asahi follows his gaze. “Do you think he’s still asleep? I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.”</p><p>“Well, it <em> is </em> 7 in the morning, after all. You’re the only one who gets up this early.”</p><p>“Which,” he says as-a-matter-of-factly, “shouldn’t be the case. You guys seriously need to fix your sleep schedules.”</p><p>“It’s not my fault! Homework sucks. How do you <em> not </em> sleep at 2 every day?”</p><p>“I work quickly and efficiently.”</p><p>“How gracious of you,” Asahi smiles, playfully rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Damn right.”</p><p>Then Asahi inhales softly and stands up. “Speaking of work, actually. I don’t have any classes but I still need to catch up on work. I was supposed to do it last night, but, uh… things happened. You know.”</p><p>“Stay here for a bit,” Daichi shakes his head. “You can do work later. Aren’t you tired?”</p><p>“I’m okay, really.”</p><p>“Don’t lie to me. You’re in no position to do work right now.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“I swear to <em> god</em>, Asahi, you’re going to start needing fucking <em> glasses </em>with how much you stare at your computer screen. Sit down, chill out, and hang out with us. It’s for your own good.”</p><p>But before Asahi can respond, a door behind him swings open, and out comes Suga, fully dressed and ready for school. A bag is slung over his shoulder, though he doesn’t have class until after lunch.</p><p>“Good morning!” he announces dramatically.</p><p>“And then there were three,” Daichi mutters. Funnily enough, though Daichi is always up first, he’s always the one with the heaviest eye bags. He’s sure Suga gets less than six hours a day and still has clear skin. It makes Asahi a little jealous. </p><p>“Somehow,” Asahi sighs, “it feels like déja vu.”</p><p>Suga slips off his bag and takes a seat beside Asahi. He gently pats him on the head. “Damn right it is! It’s a new day and things are gonna be great! Asahi, let’s make breakfast.”</p><p>“I have no idea how that relates to déja vu, but—” He tilts his head toward the bowl— “sorry. I already ate, so I’m kind of full. But, um, thanks again for the ramen, Suga. Daichi told me you bought it. So… thank you. I really needed that.”</p><p>“Anything for my favourite man bun! Besides, Daichi was the one who suggested it. So we have him to thank, too.”</p><p>“Don’t drag me into this.”</p><p>Asahi chuckles and scratches the back of his head. “Anyway, maybe we can make breakfast together later? Does nine sound okay?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Aren’t you guys hungry, though? I wouldn’t want to make you wait two hours.”</p><p>Suga shakes his head. “No. Daichi, are you?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“See? We’re good.”</p><p>“You guys are just saying that to be nice,” Asahi sighs. “But I’ll take it. You’re never nice to me anyway.”</p><p>Daichi places his head on the table and tilts it to the side, toward them. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’re always this nice.”</p><p>Asahi makes a face.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing.” Then Asahi sighs. He knows what’s coming—they’ve been waiting to hear about it, and he thinks they <em> should </em> hear about it either way. Not just to help Asahi, but because they deserve to know what happened last night. To know what’s coming between him and Nishinoya. “Um. About last night…”</p><p>Suga sits up straighter. “Asahi?”</p><p>“I’m okay,” he reassures them. “Talking about it might help, too. There’s no use beating around the bush.”</p><p>“If you’re okay,” Daichi says.</p><p>“Yeah.” Running through the events of the previous night in his mind, Asahi takes a shaky breath. “So, um. First was studying. We did that for a while, but then we watched A Silent Voice—which was actually really good, I’m not sure why I haven’t watched it before—” Asahi shakes his head. “Either way, the most important thing is, um, we were flirting afterward I think? And we got really close, and… I think he was about to kiss me.”</p><p>Daichi crosses his arms. “But something went wrong.”</p><p>“Yeah. Or else I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”</p><p>The others are silently listening.</p><p>“So… I might have messed up,” Asahi continues. “And told him I needed to talk about something.”</p><p>Suga’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me—”</p><p>“I panicked, okay? That was the only thing on my mind during the movie. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to talk about it sometime and—”</p><p>“And you chose the worst possible time to bring it up.”</p><p>Asahi withers. “Yeah.”</p><p>“What happened after that?” Daichi urges.</p><p>“It’s kind of a blur,” he admits. “But I know it escalated a bit. I might have been yelling. And maybe said some things I regret saying.” He averts his eyes. “The main thing I was upset about was why he had to ditch me once he got a girlfriend, and I just wanted to <em> know why</em>, right? You get me, right?”</p><p>“I’d say that’s fair.”</p><p>“Yeah. Then he said he drifted because, um, he couldn’t be around me. And that he lied about having a girlfriend.”</p><p>“Plot twist,” Suga gapes, his eyes wide, and at the same time Daichi shakes his head and says, “I’m not surprised.”</p><p>They exchange glances.</p><p>“Either way,” Suga continues, “you can’t be this dense, Asahi. You have to know what this means. He couldn’t be around you <em> and </em> lied about having a girlfriend.”</p><p>Asahi rests his head on his arm, making his words muffled. “I… guess. But I’m upset with him. Even if it is true—it’s probably not—I don’t really want to see him right now. After he said that, I was just… done with him. We were both getting upset. So I told him to leave and we’d talk about it later. Tomorrow. Which is today.”</p><p>“Is that why…” Daichi gives Suga a look.</p><p>“I think so.”</p><p>Asahi lifts his head. “Is that why what?”</p><p>“You’ll see,” is all Suga says, and there’s a sudden pulse of anger in Asahi’s forehead. But okay. He trusts Suga—he’ll likely find out in due time. Maybe today, because that’s what usually happens with these sorts of things. So Asahi just nods.</p><p>“Are you planning to talk to him?” Daichi brings up.</p><p>“Maybe.”</p><p>He rolls his eyes. “Stop being stubborn. If he confronted you about it, you would talk to him, right?”</p><p>Asahi grunts.</p><p>Then Suga jabs him in the stomach, and Asahi yelps. “Hey! Angry man bun, begone!”</p><p>“Suga,” he whines as he rubs his side. “I’m not even that mad.”</p><p>He raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Okay. Maybe I am.”</p><p>“Nothing like good old fashioned violence to get the point across,” he says cheerfully. A little<em> too </em> cheerful. He sometimes wonders if Suga is a sadist.</p><p>“Why violence?!”</p><p>“It’s what I do best. I think it’s your fault, Asahi. By now, you should know how I am. You just aren’t paying attention.”</p><p>“Do you do this to Daichi, too?” Asahi frowns.</p><p>Daichi’s eyes flick down, then back up.</p><p>“No,” he says carefully.</p><p>“I—” Asahi’s eyebrows scrunch up, then relax. “I don’t care. I don’t want to know.”</p><p>“That’s a good idea.”</p><p>The conversation continues like this, the hours spent laughing, chatting, or just sitting quietly. He can never get bored of those two, and it’s moments with them like these he truly appreciates. Low energy levels don’t allow for them to happen, but when they do, every one of them is something he knows he’ll treasure for a long time.</p><p>Before Asahi realizes it, it hits nine o’clock.</p><p>“Shall we make breakfast?” Asahi stretches, and stands up.</p><p>“What’s in the fridge?” Suga asks.</p><p>Daichi shrugs. “Not much.”</p><p>“We have to go shopping soon,” Asahi agrees. “I think we have eggs, though. And a bit of leftovers.”</p><p>“I’m not eating week-old leftovers for breakfast.”</p><p>Suga sniffs. “How about lunch, then?”</p><p>“That’ll do.”</p><p>But before any of them can even move, the doorbell rings, and all heads turn toward the sound.</p><p>“...Open it, Daichi,” Suga says.</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“It might be a serial killer!”</p><p>Daichi glares at him. “What are you trying to say, Koushi?”</p><p>Asahi stands up and sighs. “I’ll get it.”</p><p>He leaves behind the bickering couple and drags his feet to the entrance. He’s mentally bracing himself for the worst—it’s probably one of the other tenants in the building, or the landlord. No one else would knock on their door at nine in the morning, but whichever one it is spells bad news.</p><p>Gently, he opens the door, and—</p><p>“H—hey, Asahi-san,” Nishinoya says.</p><p>Asahi freezes. Behind him, Suga and Daichi have stopped arguing, and the room is silent except for the fan blowing in the corner.</p><p>Never mind tenants or landlords or whatever.</p><p>This is <em> much </em> worse.</p><p>Asahi instinctively steps back. “Nishinoya.”</p><p>“Can I—um. Would you mind if I came in?” Nishinoya shuffles back and forth awkwardly, then lifts his right arm to show a takeout bag. “I brought breakfast.”</p><p>Asahi wants to say no—at least, a part of him. But he decides he should at least give him a chance. Besides, he brought food, and he’s hungry. If nothing, at <em> least </em> he’ll get breakfast out of it.</p><p>“...Okay,” he says, and turns around. “Come in.” He doesn’t look behind him as he walks back to the kitchen, but hears the door shut.</p><p>When he returns to the table, Daichi and Suga look stiff as floorboards.</p><p>“What?” he asks, and sits down.</p><p>Suga’s eyes flick toward Nishinoya, then back at Asahi. “I think this might be our cue to leave.” Daichi nods fervently.</p><p>Asahi practically whips his head toward them. “<em>What</em>. No, no. Don’t go. You can’t leave me alone with Nishinoya. Besides, you owe me one. For the party!”</p><p>“He’s right there, you know.”</p><p>“That’s not the point!” he hisses, making no attempt to whisper.</p><p>“Um.” Nishinoya scratches his arm, then steps forward to put the bag on the table. There are a couple of plastic containers insides, as well as some disposable chopsticks poking out of the top. “I got enough food for everyone. So.”</p><p>Daichi leans over and examines the contents. “Is that sushi?”</p><p>“I hope you guys don’t mind that it’s takeout,” he half-heartedly jokes.</p><p>“No, this—” Suga grins— “this is great. We’re poor university students. Sushi is never an option for us, and definitely not for breakfast!”</p><p>“Except for last week?” Asahi points out.</p><p>He opens his mouth, then closes it. “Oh.”</p><p>The next few minutes are spent shuffling around the kitchen to grab bowls and plates (“Get the ginger from the fridge!”), and the atmosphere seems to return to its lively state. Most of the tension is gone with Suga and Daichi throwing jabs at each other as the sun starts to light up the room. When they finally get everything ready, they’re back at the table saying thanks, then dig in.</p><p>Except—</p><p>“Well,” Daichi says, standing up. He lifts his plate, and Suga imitates him. “I think it’s time we leave you two alone.”</p><p>Asahi’s eyes widen. “Wait—”</p><p>“Bye!” Suga waves.</p><p>Then they disappear into Daichi’s room.</p><p>“I can’t believe they just did that,” Asahi says. “I. <em> Cannot</em>. Believe. They just did that.”</p><p>On the opposite end of the table, Nishinoya looks like he wants to say something.</p><p>“Asahi-san?”</p><p>He sighs and stuffs a roll of sushi into his mouth. When he’s done chewing, he swallows thickly and looks pointedly <em> away </em> from Nishinoya. “Just so you know, I’m still kind of upset with you.”</p><p>“…I guessed as much.”</p><p>“It’s not like I want to be, though,” Asahi murmurs.</p><p>“You—you have every right to be. This whole thing is my fault. So I… I just want to start with, um.” Nishinoya’s eyes dart around the room. “I’m sorry. I really am. You didn’t deserve what I did to you, and I wanted to come here to apologize and explain things to you. You should know the truth, even if… even if it means things might be awkward for a while.”</p><p>Asahi swallows, his hands becoming clammy. This isn’t sounding too good. At this point, he’s too nervous to speak, so he just takes another bite of his food.</p><p>“There are a couple of things, actually. I guess I did a lot to you,” he laughs bitterly.</p><p>“What? No, I—”</p><p>“You don’t have to say it. I’m just too much of a coward. I’m sorry for everything I did last night. And for calling you dense. Even if you are dense, it’s not… well, it’s not always a bad thing.”</p><p>There’s something warm in Asahi’s heart, and he can’t help but chuckle at that.</p><p>“Maybe,” he says with uncertainty.</p><p>Nishinoya gives a crooked smile. “Definitely.”</p><p>Then he scratches the back of his head and looks down. “But, um, the biggest thing is the party. I…” He sighs. “That’s another thing I lied to you about. I said I didn’t remember the kiss, but I do. So. I’m sorry about that.” A pause. “Obviously I don’t remember <em> everything </em>about it, because I sure as hell wasn’t sober then. But I remember bits and pieces.”</p><p>“Bits and pieces?”</p><p>He shifts awkwardly. He still hasn’t touched his food, Asahi notices, while he’s close to finishing. “Yeah. I asked you to drive me home. We kissed in your car. Front seat. Sorry about that, too.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” is what he says, but Asahi almost laughs at that. What an arbitrary thing to remember, out of all things—exactly where the kiss was. Not what happened right before or after it. The fact that they kissed in the front seat of his car. Though, maybe it isn’t that arbitrary. After all, he’s never done it before.</p><p>Nishinoya looks away. “You know…”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>He’s silent for a moment.</p><p>“I don’t regret kissing you,” Nishinoya finally says, “but I do regret what it led to.” </p><p>“Me, too,” Asahi agrees, opting to ignore the fact that the line sounds almost planned. He finds the thought cute—Nishinoya standing in front of a mirror and practicing saying the sentence. But then Asahi remembers what <em> he </em>was doing this morning, and shuts his mouth.</p><p>“You—you don’t?”</p><p>“Nah.” Asahi tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Actually, I guessed as much. You weren’t the best at hiding it. That you remembered the kiss,” he adds quickly.</p><p>“Oh. Yeah. I’m… sorry about that.”</p><p>“It’s alright,” he reassures. “I’m sorry for not bringing it up earlier. If I had just mentioned it when you called me after the party, we might not be in this mess.”</p><p>Nishinoya looks away. “I don’t know about that.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Like I said, it’s entirely my fault. You just did what anyone would do.”</p><p>“I…” Asahi wants to tell him <em> no, it’s probably not your fault </em> and <em> I know it was for a good reason</em>, but he really can’t be sure. He really doesn’t know anything. Instead, he lets out a breath. “Can you tell me what happened? Why do you… think it’s entirely your fault?”</p><p>“You know that I… lied to you about having a girlfriend, right?”</p><p>Asahi nods.</p><p>“It, um, has to do with that,” Nishinoya mumbles. “You might be really upset with me again—I wouldn’t blame you—but it’s when I said I couldn’t be around you anymore.”</p><p>“You—you don’t have to explain. I’m honestly okay without know—”</p><p>“No,” he shakes his head. “You deserve to know.”</p><p>“...Okay.”</p><p>Nishinoya doesn’t speak, staring daggers into his sushi—which he still hasn’t touched. Is he not hungry? Maybe he doesn’t like that specific kind. But it doesn’t matter; he’ll bring it up after Nishinoya tells him whatever he has to say.</p><p>Then Nishinoya takes a breath.</p><p>“I like you, Asahi-san,” he says, and Asahi’s heart stops. “Romantically. I have for a while. It just hit me last year as we were getting closer, and, um, I was scared. I was scared of liking guys and of losing one of my best friends. But even still, I thought losing you would be easier than admitting my feelings. So—so I lied to you about a lot of things. And I know it doesn’t excuse anything I’ve done, but I—I just wanted to let you know. So. Yeah.”</p><p>
  <em> I like you, Asahi-san. </em>
</p><p>The words echo in his mind.</p><p>Asahi looks down and presses his hands into his lap.</p><p>Just because he came to this conclusion last night doesn’t mean he truly <em> believed </em> it—even when Suga brought it up this morning, he thought it was a stretch. He’s been pining for years, after all. Even if he did like him back for a short while, there was no way he would like him now, right?</p><p>But apparently not, because hearing it out loud and <em> from Nishinoya himself </em> is like a slap to the face.</p><p>And that’s when it really hits him.</p><p>
  <em> Oh my god. Oh my god, is this real? This isn’t real, is it? It’s totally a dream. That’s so cliché though, what the hell, Asahi? But there’s no way he likes you back. Wait, did you actually just say ‘like’? Okay. It’s probably fine because Nishinoya said ‘like’, too. Or is that weird? Saying love is even weirder, though. Either way, this isn’t important! You’ve probably just been staring at your hands, overthinking for like, two minutes, so hurry up and say something. Jesus Christ. </em>
</p><p>Asahi slowly lifts his head to look at him—his ears are red and his arms crossed. He doesn’t meet Asahi’s gaze.</p><p>“Um—”</p><p>“I’ll just—” Nishinoya stands up, spins around and treks toward the door. “I’ll be going now. Sorry, Asahi-san. I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable. I hope we can stay friends, though.”</p><p>“Wait, Noya!”</p><p>Nishinoya’s halfway to the entrance, but when Asahi stands up to run to him, he hits his foot against the table, and pain spikes in his ankle.</p><p>He yelps.</p><p>“Asahi-san?”</p><p>“Ow—yeah. Oh, wow. That,” he winces, “kind of hurts.” Then he shakes his head and sighs. “Man, I kind of ruined that, didn’t I? I was gonna be all dramatic and tell you not to leave and do all these cool things but… I guess that didn’t work.”</p><p>Nishinoya stifles a laugh.</p><p>Asahi smiles. “You’ll stay, though, right?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’ll stay.”</p><p>Then Asahi’s feet take him forward, toward Nishinoya, and he instinctively wraps his arms around him. Nishinoya looks surprised at first, but he leans into the hug, pressing the side of his head into Asahi’s chest.</p><p>It’s warm.</p><p>“Your heart is beating fast, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“I’m aware.”</p><p>“Am I making you uncomfortable?”</p><p>Asahi almost laughs. “No. Definitely not.” When Nishinoya looks up, Asahi places his hand on the back of his head and gently places it back against his chest. “I like you, too, Nishinoya.”</p><p>Nishinoya freezes.</p><p>Then he looks up—slowly, gently, and almost disbelieving.</p><p>“Why’d you have to wait so long to tell me?”</p><p>“Sorry,” he apologizes.</p><p>“It—it’s okay. I forgive you, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Are you… crying?”</p><p>“Wha—no way!” Nishinoya says, a little too loudly, and quickly pulls apart from Asahi. His eyes are glossy.</p><p>Asahi raises an eyebrow. “Are you. Sure?”</p><p>“...Okay, maybe I am.”</p><p>“It’s not fair you’re so pretty while you’re crying,” Asahi murmurs, putting a hand atop Nishinoya’s spiky hair. It’s rough, but Asahi finds the feeling comforting. He likes that he hasn’t changed it since high school.</p><p>“Ugh,” he sniffs, wiping his nose. “Stop lying.”</p><p>“I’m not lying, Noya.”</p><p>“Since when did you get so good at making me feel like mush?”</p><p>Asahi lets out a soft laugh and brings his forehead to Nishinoya’s. “I don’t know. Since when did <em> you </em> make me feel like I have the courage to flirt with you?”</p><p>“I kind of like this Asahi,” he smiles. “It’s cute.”</p><p>“Cute?”</p><p>“And sexy.”</p><p>“You don’t say.”</p><p>As Asahi closes his eyes, he has flashbacks to the night of the party—dark, uncomfortable, and the smell of alcohol stinking up the car. It’s not like that kiss was overly unpleasant (at least, the kiss itself). But… </p><p>“Hey…” Asahi starts. “Can I, um, kiss you?”</p><p>“You still want to kiss me? After… last night?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>His lips quiver.</p><p>“Okay,” Nishinoya breathes.</p><p>And that’s all it takes for Asahi to cup his face and kiss him.</p><p>If there’s one thing he’ll say, it’s that this time is <em> way </em> better than the first one. 100%. No doubt about it. The sun lights up the room in just the right way to make him feel like he’s glowing, and Nishinoya’s head fits perfectly in Asahi’s hands as he pulls him in. It tastes a little salty—likely from the soya sauce, but it doesn’t matter.</p><p>This time, it’s solicited.</p><p>After a couple of seconds they pull apart, red-faced and out of breath. His lips feel tingly.</p><p>“So you really do like me?” Nishinoya asks cautiously.</p><p>“Definitely.”</p><p>He laughs. “I like you, too, Asahi-san.”</p><p>Then the door to their left slams open, and they both jump.</p><p>“Finally!” Suga yells as he bursts out of the room and leaps onto Asahi and Nishinoya, nearly knocking them over. Luckily, with the both of them, they have just enough strength to keep them, as well as Suga, from falling to the floor. He puts his arms around their shoulders.</p><p>“Suga-san!” Nishinoya grins.</p><p>“Congrats to my kouhai on this wonderful slow burn relationship that Daichi and I have been painfully awaiting for two years!”</p><p>“I’m older than you,” Asahi frowns.</p><p>“Shush. I’m your mother.”</p><p>“Honestly,” Daichi says, coming up behind them, “it was probably closer to three years. We all knew Asahi was lovestruck the moment he saw you, Nishinoya.”</p><p>“Don’t expose me like that!” Asahi whines.</p><p>Nishinoya turns back to him. “Is that true, Asahi-san?”</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>“Oh, absolutely,” Suga teases as they pull apart. “I remember pretty much all of third year he never stopped talking about you. It was always <em> Nishinoya this </em> and <em> Nishinoya that </em> and—”</p><p>Asahi shakes his head and heads back to the kitchen table. “It takes zero yen for you to not expose me, Suga!” he calls.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Nishinoya reassures him as they follow Asahi. “Ask Ryuu anytime. There were so many times we were cleaning up the gym and I wanted to pin you against the wall and kiss you. Not sure if that would’ve worked, though.”</p><p>“You’re shameless,” Daichi notes.</p><p>“I am!”</p><p>Asahi averts his eyes. “I wouldn’t have minded it.”</p><p>“You’re shameless, too,” Suga sighs.</p><p>“This is coming from <em> you two</em>!”</p><p>“Touché,” he grins.</p><p>They’re all standing around the table now. Asahi looks down at his plate—there’s still a couple of pieces of sushi left on it, and he could go for seconds, honestly. There’s plenty of food.</p><p>“Shall we finish breakfast?” Asahi suggests, and sits down.</p><p>Nishinoya imitates him. “Oh yeah, that’s a good idea! I’m kind of starving. You’d be surprised how much confessing your love for a person takes out of you.”</p><p>“Oh, right!” Suga says. “We didn’t finish our breakfast, either. We were, uh. Too busy listening in on your conversation.”</p><p>“Why am I not surprised?” Asahi sighs.</p><p>Daichi raises an eyebrow. “You would totally do the same.”</p><p>“What—no, I wouldn’t!” Then he shakes his head and pushes the two gently. “Ugh. Just go and get your food already.”</p><p>He watches as the pair enters and exits the room within a couple of seconds. Like Suga said, neither of them ate a single bite; too busy listening to them, apparently. In a way, though, he’s relieved. He won’t have to recount the story to them, since they <em> always </em> ask for more details than Asahi can remember.</p><p>As they eat, the conversation devolves into something along the lines of conspiracy theories and colours and something else entirely. (Exactly what, Asahi can’t tell—he’s too busy trying to <em> understand </em> what they’re even talking about. And also staring at Nishinoya. Mostly trying to understand the topic in the first place, though. He promises.) They also play a round of “Guess how often Daichi and Suga fuck?”</p><p>(It’s close to three times a week, is what they tell him. How unfortunate for Asahi.)</p><p>But it doesn’t matter, because all he feels right now is pure <em> joy. </em> It’s probably the happiest he’s ever felt at 10am on a Monday—weird, because he hasn’t even had his morning coffee. Last night feels like weeks ago. Far away, disappearing like the last brisk of cold before spring.</p><p>Asahi smiles.</p><p>With four people instead of the usual uneven three, the table finally feels full.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Asahi-san, I passed!” Asahi hears in the distance, and he turns his head toward the sound.</p><p>At the end of the week, Asahi sitting in the driver’s seat with the car pulled up to the curb of Nishinoya’s university, waiting for him after his Friday afternoon class. Among the sea of students hovering around the entrance, he spots Nishinoya running toward him, waving his paper above his head. The sheet is fluttering in the wind.</p><p>When he approaches, Asahi unlocks the passenger seat with a click, and Nishinoya slides in before leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips. This is the sixteenth time they’ve kissed, and it’s just as good as the second. </p><p>“Someone’s happy,” Asahi teases.</p><p>“Well, duh! Guess what I got!”</p><p>“Perfect,” he says without missing a beat.</p><p>Nishinoya rolls his eyes playfully as he slips off his bag and throws it into the backseat. “I wish. You have to be a better tutor if you want me to get 100, though.”</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“I got an 84!” Nishinoya cheers. “Thanks to you,” he adds. “Thanks for helping me, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“I said I’d help you, didn’t I?”</p><p>“Best decision of your life.”</p><p>“Definitely.” Asahi chuckles to himself, then pulls down the visor from above to block out the harsh sun. “I’m proud of you, Noya.”</p><p>Nishinoya’s face just flushes, and he grins.</p><p>Once Asahi starts the engine, he pulls onto the street and heads out of the parking lot, on the road to their apartment. The once strange buildings are now something of a familiar sight as he passes them by—shades of red and grey he always spots on the way to Nishinoya’s campus. He doesn’t always pick him up, but when he does, it’s easily a highlight of his day.</p><p>Today’s something of a special occasion, though. The weekend brings them time, and this means Nishinoya gets to stay over for the night.</p><p>Asahi is giddy at the thought. He feels a bit like a high schooler (this seems to be happening pretty often for him, surprisingly), but he doesn’t care. Having someone over is always fun.</p><p>“Say, Asahi-san,” Nishinoya says when they draw near their destination, and it catches Asahi off-guard. His tone is different from the previous excited voice he had before.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“What if we went on vacation together someday?”</p><p>Asahi raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t it a little early in the relationship for something like that, Noya?”</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>“What brought this up anyway?”</p><p>“I dunno,” he shrugs. “I guess I’ve just been thinking. About what might happen in the future. About us.”</p><p>Asahi glances at him, smiling. “Don’t think too hard, Noya. That’s my job.” He gently presses his foot against the brake as the stoplight changes from yellow to red. “But still. I’d like that a lot. Maybe we could travel the world together.”</p><p>“See the camels in Egypt,” Nishinoya jokes.</p><p>“Camels?”</p><p>“I like their humps,” he says obviously.</p><p>“I mean. Sure.” Asahi chuckles, and the light turns green. “Alright. I don’t know when that would happen, though.”</p><p>“Can we start planning for it soon? Oh, I want to go to Italy! I want to learn about fishing and stuff. It <em> is </em> kinda far from Egypt but if we’re travelling the world it’ll be fine! Asahi-san, is there anywhere you want to go?”</p><p>“Um. Not especially.”</p><p>“You better come up with some! There’s no way I’m thinking of <em> all </em> the destinations by myself.”</p><p>“Alright, alright,” he laughs.</p><p>They make it to the complex without much hassle (other than a couple of kids running right behind the car as he’s parking it, but whatever) and take the elevator to the fifth floor. The apartment is unlocked when Asahi goes to open it—the others must already be home.</p><p>“Asahi! Nishinoya!” Daichi greets them with a smile. </p><p>“Daichi-san!” Nishinoya leaps up and down in the air, his bag on his shoulders bouncing along with him. Asahi can’t imagine it’s very pleasant—there’s a laptop, multiple textbooks, and food in there. Though tiny, Asahi has quickly found out he has a surprising amount of strength.</p><p>“Hey,” Asahi waves as he shuts the door behind him and slips off his shoes.</p><p>Then his attention snaps over to the living room sofa, where Suga is lounging; he has his feet up and everything. He’s taking up the entire space.</p><p>“Yo!” he calls, waving his arm as he reaches over to the bowl of chips on the coffee table and grabs a handful. They’re chili-flavoured, it looks like, which is a little disappointing. Of course Suga would get the chips that he <em> knows </em> Asahi can’t handle. But he doesn’t make a fuss. They approach The Couch (because so much has happened there, they’ve taken to making it a proper noun) and greet Suga.</p><p>Then Daichi leans over the armrest and kisses him.</p><p>“Someone’s in a good mood,” Suga grins.</p><p>“What, am I not allowed to kiss my boyfriend?”</p><p>“What’s on, by the way?” Nishinoya interrupts them, and Asahi is eternally grateful. It’s great, because now there’s one more person here to stop Suga’s and Daichi’s antics. Nishinoya rests his elbows on the backrest of the couch and widens his eyes when he sees the screen, which seems to be at its lowest volume. “Volleyball?”</p><p>“Yep!”</p><p>“Ooh, let me watch,” Daichi says as he plops down on the sofa. “Scooch over.”</p><p>Suga immediately removes his legs, then proceeds to drape his entire body over Daichi, who lets out a grunt. His chest is resting on Daichi’s legs, and his hands just reach over the armrest.</p><p>“Stop that!” Daichi chides. “You aren’t Nishinoya, for fuck’s sake.”</p><p>“Yeah!” Nishinoya puts his hand on his hips. “That’s a Nishinoya Yuu-only thing. Do you have a pass?”</p><p>Suga hums thoughtfully for a moment, then suddenly pushes off of Daichi (drawing another <em> oof </em> from him) and grabs the chips. He offers it to Nishinoya with an expectant look.</p><p>“It’ll do,” Nishinoya shrugs and snipes a handful.</p><p>“How about you, Asahi?”</p><p>Asahi narrows his eyes. “Oh, no, don’t drag me into this. You <em> know </em> I hate spicy food. Don’t do this to me, Sugawara.”</p><p>“Asahi-san,” Nishinoya says, his mouth full, “you don’t like spicy food?”</p><p>He and Suga exchange glances, and their expressions turn devilish. There’s a bout of cheering that comes from the TV.</p><p>“You know what,” Asahi says quickly. He can feel the sweat building up on his palms. “I actually just remembered I have homework. So, um. I have to go.” Which isn’t technically a lie—he was planning on hanging out with the others, but he would prefer <em> not </em> to be tortured by his best friends and boyfriend. That’s fair of him, he would think.</p><p>Daichi just rolls his eyes. “Coward.”</p><p>“Hey, wait!” Nishinoya shovels another few chips in his mouth, then swallows. “At least give me a kiss first!”</p><p>“You’re—horrible,” Asahi manages to say.</p><p>“Don’t forget cute.”</p><p>“You’re horribly cute.”</p><p>“Isn’t that technically a compliment?” Suga frowns, looking at Daichi. “Like, horribly becomes a good thing in this context?”</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Daichi shrugs.</p><p>“This conversation is a trainwreck,” Asahi sighs, face-palming.</p><p>Eventually, things settle down, and they manage to rope Asahi into chilling with them—at the price of the big couch. (Well, it’s not like Suga or Daichi cared. But he still counts it as a win.) They end up cuddling on the sofa with the other two squished on the small cushion, the volleyball game tuned into the background as the four of them talk.</p><p>They’re in the middle of having a conversation about old Karasuno memories and the current state of the high school team when Suga’s phone buzzes.</p><p>When he pulls it out to read whatever it is he got, his eyebrows raise in intrigue.</p><p>“What is it?” Daichi asks.</p><p>“A party,” Suga tells them. “Oikawa—from Seijoh, remember?—just texted me about it. They’re having one later tonight.”</p><p>“‘Grand King’,” Asahi muses. “I remember.”</p><p>Daichi hums. “Suga, should we go? It’s a long weekend, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’m down if you’re down.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“‘Aight,” Suga says, typing quickly on his phone. “Asahi, Noya?”</p><p>“Well, what do you say?” Asahi asks. “Wanna go?”</p><p>Nishinoya hums thoughtfully for a moment, eyebrows furrowed deep, then shakes his head. “Nah. I’ve already got something way better right here.”</p><p>Asahi feels his face heat up, and he smushes his hand into Nishinoya’s face to push him back. “Since when did you get so smooth?” he says as he turns away. “That’s not fair, even if it <em> is </em> cheesy as hell.”</p><p>“What can I say? I’m a master of flirting.”</p><p>“Asahi didn’t realize you liked him even when you hung out nearly every other day for three weeks,” Daichi points out. “I’d hardly call you a master flirt.”</p><p>“Ouch!” Nishinoya says as he presses a hand to his chest. He falls over onto Asahi, who catches him and adjusts himself to let Nishinoya rest on his torso. “My pride, my pride! I’ve been wounded! It’s a fatal blow.” As they snuggle closer, Asahi’s back is pushed against the armrest, but it isn’t uncomfortable.</p><p>Suga and Daichi exchange glances that he can only read as <em> Jesus Christ</em>.</p><p>Asahi snorts. “You’re so dumb.”</p><p>“Then I’d call you dumb for getting together with me.”</p><p>“If that’s the case, I’m happy being dumb. You—”</p><p>Before they can get any further, Suga interrupts them. “This is horrible,” he says to Daichi as he shakes his head. </p><p>“Tell me about it.”</p><p>“Now you know how I feel living with you guys all the time!” Asahi shoots back.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Suga waves him away. “Whatever. We’ll have to get going soon, though. The party starts in a bit.”</p><p>“You sure you don’t want to come?” Daichi asks again. “Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone who you haven’t seen in half a year, make out with them in the front seat of your car because they’re drunk, pretend not to remember it but accidentally spill it all three weeks later which causes a huge fight between you but eventually leads into you two confessing your feelings and <em> finally </em> getting together.”</p><p>“...That’s, um.” Asahi’s face grows hot. “Oddly specific, Daichi.”</p><p>“You’d be surprised.”</p><p>Then Nishinoya shakes his head. “I think we’re good, though. Right, Asahi-san?”</p><p>“Y—yeah. We’ll stay home. You two go out.”</p><p>“Alright,” Suga says, then stands up and stretches. “Well! We should go get ready to go. We’ll see you guys in a bit.”</p><p>Later, when Daichi and Suga leave, the apartment becomes silent. They haven’t moved from their position—Nishinoya’s still lying on top of Asahi—and it’s a strange contrast to how Nishinoya usually is. The blinds are closed, little light filtering in, and Nishinoya’s quiet, only his breathing loud enough for Asahi to hear. Asahi almost thinks he’s sleeping—until he speaks.</p><p>“Hey, Asahi-san.”</p><p>“Noya?”</p><p>“Why do you like me?”</p><p>The question catches Asahi off-guard, and snaps his head up.</p><p>“You, uh, don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”</p><p>“No, no,” Asahi shakes his head. “It’s fine. Well, I could say things like your laugh and your personality, but I don’t really know, honestly. I don’t think I can really give you a specific reason why—I just do. A lot. I guess that’s how life in general works, isn’t it? People like things because they like them. There’s no real reason. At least, that’s how I think of it.”</p><p>Nishinoya is silent as Asahi finishes up his dramatic monologue (was it a little too much? he worries), and something itches in the back of his mind.</p><p>“Sorry,” Asahi apologizes. “You were probably expecting compliments. I can still do that, if you’d like, though. There are a lot of things I like about—”</p><p>“Nah,” he says. “I like that answer. It’s kinda nice.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“It’s like, there’s no true reason for people to like things, but you still chose me.”</p><p>Asahi laughs. “I guess you’re right. And you chose me.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Then Nishinoya lets out a small breath and leans forward to softly kiss Asahi on the lips—another contrast to his personality. Asahi would say he likes this new part of him; less energetic for Asahi’s sake, but still as charming as ever. Though, maybe it’s not a <em> new </em> part of him. Maybe it was always there, and Asahi’s just never seen it.</p><p>So maybe change isn’t always a bad thing, he decides. Constants are nice and all, but obviously they can’t always exist.</p><p>Like this kiss, for example. It’s different from his first one in quite a few ways: the location, the mood. Everything, really.</p><p>But it’s pretty nice, Asahi thinks, because he’s actually sober.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>about a month ago, i started writing this after getting an idea for a fic for the first time in two years. i was a little reluctant to get back into it at first, since it had been so long, but writing this again made me remember how much i love writing fics! a lot less stressful than writing a book lmao—</p><p>i'm done writing for now (uhhh school is SHITTING on me like no tomorrow) but who knows? maybe i'll write another fic sometime soon... i have an idea for a iwaoi oneshot :3</p><p>thank you for tagging along on this short but sweet ride :) i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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